Reading through the thread, I think everyone lost track of the original question. Here are some thoughts.
First:
I've known I'm overworking the 5100s since tracing down a trailside clunk years ago and burning my hand on one... The question is - what to replace them with?
This doesn’t mean you’re overworking the shock. 200 deg. will burn the crap out of you, but isn’t necessarily overheating the shock. (I did the same thing on a Fox 2.0 after a hard run.) A more likely problem:
..,my Bilsteins aside from being a bit soft, and now failing after about 30,000 miles.
It’s normal for the fronts to wear out first, something, something, 550b engine hanging a foot over the front axle, etc. 30K miles with more then a bit of flogging seems like pretty good service from a sealed non-serviceable shock.
The question,
“which of these to run?” and the list:
Doetsch Tech, Bilstein, Fox, Other go-fast suggestions?
You seem to want to get the Doetsch. Nobody who has answered has any experience with them. Several people gave you their suggestions/personal experience/personal preference, which is what you asked for. Fox and Bilstein are popular and a lot of people here run them.
From there the conversation has devolved(That's a surprise, right? Welcome to the internet.) The ongoing argument about the quality of Doetsch is kind of a waste of time. Nobody's run them so nobody has experience. A few years back Penske won a NASCAR championship running Dodge and switched to Ford the following year. Why? They were the only team left running Dodge and didn't want to foot the whole bill for development and testing even though they were winning. Same problem here: most people don't want to have the only set of shocks in the state/county/city and have to figure out replacement/warranty/service by themselves. The "big names" are simpler.
My opinion:
It sounds like the 5100s were doing the job until they wore out. Replace them or upgrade to a 2" shock in the front if you really think you were over-working them. Remote res. is probably overkill if you're staying with the stock mounting points/ rubber bushings/etc.
"Too soft" is kind of vague. Most any shock valving is going to be too soft to really effectively soak up hard repeated bumps without being really harsh on the street.
it seems prothane bumpstops in the coils are the way to go to slow things down before hitting the hard stop
A very good idea.
Bar pin/post eliminators, or stock mounting
Bar pin eliminators make putting a shock that didn't have bar pins pre-installed easier to install, and are stronger, although the stock bar pins seldom fail. The eliminators lower shock travel by about 3/4" which can cause problems in tight mounting situations.
If you want to get a set of Doetsch shocks and try them out, please do. Post up your results. Everyone would love to hear about it.(even the haters). I had a set of Doetsch 2.0 remote res., pin mount w HD polyurethane bushings on top/spherical eye in single shear bottom mount on my truck. They failed due to incorrect setup(Any shock would have failed in that condition) Until they broke, they were working fine under light/medium race conditions. 'No idea how they would work/hold up on the street so I can't comment on that.