Lutheran Census Form
1. _____________________ (Given name)
2. _____________________ (Surname)
3. Descendant of:
A. Adam and Eve _____
B. Cain and Abel _____
C. Ephesians and Colossians_____
D. Laurel and Hardy _____
4. Synod: _____________________
5. Number of occupants in home:
(Categories listed in chronological order)
A. Nursery _____
B. Junior Primary _____
C. Senior Primary _____
D. Young Women’s _____
E. Young Men’s _____
F. Relief Society _____
G. Elder _____
H. Trustee_____
I. Seminary Student_____
6. Occupation:
A. Doctor_____
B. Radiologist_____
C. Lawyer_____
D. Teacher/Professor_____
E. Prison Gaurd_____
7. Automobile:
A. Excursion_____
B. Excursion_____
C. Suburban _____
D. Excursion_____
E. Escalade_____
8. Favorite place to eat the night before Advent Supper:
A. Grand Buffet_____
B. Golden Coral_____
C. Chili's_____
9. Favorite Hero:
A. Jesus_____
B. Jesus_____
C. Jesus_____
D. Luther_____
E. Ronald Regan_____
10. Which of the following do you bring to church:
A. Scriptures _____
B. Daytimer _____
C. Pen/Pencil _____
D. Lifesavers _____
E. Tic Tacs _____
F. Game Boy _____
G. Big Gulp _____
H. Cooler _____
I. Sony Walkman _____
J. TV Watch _____
K. All of the above _____
11. Do you prepare your lessons:
A. A month in advance _____
B. A week in advance _____
C. While in the bathtub _____
D. While on the toilet _____
E. Driving to Sunday School_____
F. During the pre-sunday school coffee klatch_____
G. During the opening prayer of the class you’re teaching _____
H. Just wing it _____
12. Do you think pews should be permanently equipped with
Coffe cup holders: yes___ no ___
13. How many years has your family sat in the same place for Service:
A. 10-20 years _____
B. 20-30 years _____
C. 30-40 years _____
D. Over 3 generations _____
14. How much time does it take for you to fall asleep during a sermon:
A. 1/100,000,000th of a second _____
B. 1/999,999,999th of a second _____
C. 1/999,999,998th of a second _____
15. Which day of the month do you go home/visiting teaching:
A. 31st ______
B. 31st ______
C. 31st ______
D. 31st ______
E. Do what? _____
16. How many church softball fights were you in last year:
A. 1-10 _____
B. 10-20 _____
C. 20-30 _____
D. You’ll have to ask my lawyer _____
17. Which of the following has been your most effective Family Home Evening:
A. Arguing about getting along _____
B. Having an opening and closing prayer with dinner _____
C. Gathering around the television to watch, "Two-and-a-half Men" _____
18. How many times a year do you make:
A. Jello salad _____
B. Funeral potatoes _____
C. Onion Ring topped Greenbean hotdish_____
D. Smoked Frankfurters and kraut_____
19. How many cases of Bud Light do you own:
A. 1-2 thousand _____
B. 2-3 thousand _____
C. 3-4 thousand _____
D. Enough to fill the Great Salt Lake _____
20. Which of the following do you feel is the Oktoberfest in the nation:
A. Herman, Mo _____
B. La Cross, Wi_____
C. Your Backyard_____
21. How many aerodynamic, mechanical and structural engineers do you hire annually to insure you’ll win the pinewood derby: _________
22. Keeping the Admonition for Modaration in mind, how much of the following do you consume:
A. Bud Light:_____ cans daily X 365 days annually = ____
B. Miller Light: _____ magnums daily X 365 days annually = ____
23. If you had to choose between witnessing the Second Coming or attending an A&M/UT football game, which would you choose?
A. Second Coming _____
B. Football game _____