I think you're just paranoid, I have the IRO Y link and have no doubts about its rigidity; even cut my mounts off this past weekend. I think the material used for the links is a bit excessive but I can assume the added wall thickness might add some protection when the links come into contact with objects below the Jeep. I've not noticed this lack of front traction as you describe. There is a pretty wicked hill behind my property that you couldn't even walk up and my XJ gets right over it likes it nothing; and I'm using Toyo A/T's on loose fill dirt...
I've had my kit installed for a few months now and can't complain. the only part that concerns me is that my transmission, and links are supported by 6 bolts... the paranoid part of me thinks I should add some additional bracketry but I've not heard of anyone loosing their crossmember; wouldn't that be a fu*kin mess...