The Draft

[8Mud]

> I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.
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> For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
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> Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.
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> An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical
> S-of-a-B...
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> If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brain teaser.
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> Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
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> They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.
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> Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
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> An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.
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> These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.
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> Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.
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> ***How about recruiting Women over 50...
> With PMS!!!

 

[AL BUNDY]

Awesome

 

[5-90]

We can't find bin Laden? Tell all these collection agencies that he owes them $500 - that should get it done! Considering how they'll harass you over the most trivial amount (I told everyone here, I think, about how they were going to haul me into court for a delinquent balance of $0.00 once upon a time...) we can turn all of these people over to finding bin Laden, and give the American debtor a bit of a break at the same time (if we're not busy fielding collections calls, we can plan just how we're going to pay all of the fees and everything we're saddled with.)

Get Sallie Mae involved, and tell them he's defaulted on student loans as well.

It's long been time to bring unconventional assets to bear. Middle-aged men, post-menopausal women, or even have a "PMS Brigade" - any of you who have to deal with groups of women know that God has a sense of humour, and will bring their, er, "cycles" all into alignment after a time. Collection agencies - we could all use a break from them. Have the DNC stage a recruitment drive and try to get him signed up (I get tired of their mail all the time as well.) Telemarketers? I'm tired of having adverts mailed to me for DishTV and suchlike - let them go find him as well (or give them all of the telephone numbers we have for the Taliban and Al Quaeda - and turn them loose. Give the pols the list as well - that should get us all a break around November. Pity pols aren't included in the National Do Not Call Registry.)

 

[AIbandit]

fairly amusing

 

[8Mud]

mairly afusing

 

[Spawn 93]

I have to object, I have been in the Army or National Guard since 2001. Turned 19 in Basic Training and never looked back. I think that it should be like Korea here in the States. Koreans are required to serve at least two years in the military after high school and before college.
Crime rates and other such statistics would fall. However, the divorce rate would skyrocket due to money hungry women marrying soldiers that get deployed more and more often.
With that being said, I appreciate everything that the previous generations have done for us who serve now. You have paved the way for us. I also enjoy the fact that the National Guard has more folks over the age of 50 than any other military organization. I have learned more in the Guard than I ever did Active Duty. I regularly pick the brains of those who I prefer to call "over qualified" to the term "elderly".
Again, I have nothing but respect for those who came before me, so lets serve side by side!!!:us::us::us::us::us:

 

[AIbandit]

I have learned more in the Guard than I ever did Active Duty.

Like how to fill sandbags? How to BBQ?
National guard are NOT combat effective. I'm sure an old man Might be able to teach you vietnam tactics but that wont keep you breathing downrange.


Edit: Also they are joking. I'm sure they would agree as do most veterans that mandatory service should be enacted.

 

[AIbandit]

Someone's Getting a waiver for promotion!!

Don't forget your knee pads soldier.

 

[Spawn 93]

Like how to fill sandbags? How to BBQ?
National guard are NOT combat effective. I'm sure an old man Might be able to teach you vietnam tactics but that wont keep you breathing downrange.


Edit: Also they are joking. I'm sure they would agree as do most veterans that mandatory service should be enacted.

I know he is joking, just tryin to strike up conversation. I have not been deployed with the Guard yet, but I never got to operate anything that wasn't on our MTOW when I was Active. The Guard is just different. The stuff I have learned does not apply to "downrange" other than doing my job, a Mechanic. I have already learned everything I need to know from my tours in Iraq and have had to teach younger soldiers what I know. I hope that this time around (coming up on another tour) I won't have to exercize self-defense, but am more than capable of doing so if need be. Thanks for your input, but I can't tell you how effective the Guard is yet, we shall see..........:wantyou:atriot:

 

[xcm]

lEEEberal checking in.

mandatory 2 years for everyone would be good.



.. but it'll never happen.