About us Michiganders.....
+70°F and above Texans turn on the heat and unpack the thermal underwear. People in Michigan go swimming in the Lakes.
+60°F North Carolinians try to turn on the heat. People in Michigan plant gardens.
+50°F Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Michigan sunbathe.
+40°F Italian & English cars won't start. People in Michigan drive with the windows down.
+32°F Distilled water freezes. Lake Superior 's water gets thicker.
+20°F Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and woolly hats. People in Michigan throw on a flannel shirt.
+10°F Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Michigan have the last cookout before it gets cold.
0°F People in Miami all die... Michiganders lick the flagpole.
-20°F Californians fly away to Mexico . People in Michigan get out their winter coats.
-40°F Hollywood disintegrates. The Girl Scouts in Michigan are selling cookies door to door.
-60°F Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic . Michigan Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.
-80°F Mt. St. Helen's freezes. People in Michigan rent some videos.
-100°F Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Michiganders get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg.
-297°F Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products. Cows in Michigan complain about farmers with cold hands.
-460°F All atomic motion stops (absolute zero in the Kelvin scale). People in Michigan start saying, "Cold 'nuff for ya?"
-500°F Hell freezes over. The Lions win the Super Bowl!