How about the factoid that "the Computer is always right - even when it is wrong?"
This was ca. 1995 - I was getting bills in the mail. For $0.00.
Therefore, I ignored them.
I got a collections notice - for $0.00. I called them and asked - "Don't you think it's a little bit stupid? You're going to spend money to come after me for $0.00?"
"Sorry sir - but it's what's in the computer, and we can't change it unless we get a payment."
"I don't have a bank account, and I wouldn't give you the numbers for it anyhow. I don't have a chequing account. The only way I do payments by mail is using postal money orders - and they're going to look at me awfully funny if I go in to buy a money order for $0.00"
"Well sir, we need to get some variety of payment to close the account."
"For nothing?"
"It's what we're stuck with."
"OK gang - here's the deal. If you want me to send you a money order for $0.00 to close this account, you're going to have to pay for the money order, for the stamp, for my time to go out of my way to get the thing, for my time to mail the thing, and just for my time in dealing with this asininity in general. You're going to have to send me ten dollars - cash. I don't have a bank account to put it in.
"Alternatively, you can send me a money order from the Postal People - I can cash those readily enough.
"But, if you don't send me the money to get the money order, we're going to end up in court. Guess who's going to look stupid when it comes to light that you're hauling me in to court for literally nothing. It will be small-claims, so you can't send an attorney. And I'll slice and dice whoever you do select as your champion - it's going to cost you a lot more than ten dollars when I'm through."
Three days later, I got an envelope with a ten-dollar USPS money order in it. I got them their MO for $0.00 and sent it back. Then called them a week later.
"Did you get the MO yet?"
"Yeah. Why'd you send a MO for $0.00?"
Here we go again...
"... Listen up. I went roundy-rounds with you guys on this last week, and apparently I'm the only one who took notes. You were going to haul me into court over $0.00 if I didn't pay it. I told you that you would have to pay me to get the MO, or it wouldn't happen. You sent me ten bucks to cover everything. I got the MO for $0.00 and sent it in. I'm calling to make sure you got it - you say you did. Apply it to my account balance and close the account."
"How am I going to credit $0.00 to your account?"
"That's your problem. If I have to call you guys again, I'll be securing an attorney for harassment. I've recorded this conversation, I recorded the last one, and have your permission for recording both of them given by inference - since you're probably recording me. Then, it's going to cost you a lot more than ten dollars, believe me! I tire of this - the next thing I should hear from your outfit is that my account is closed - I'll look for your letter next week. Good day."
It finally did get cleared up, but that was the single most irritating bill I ever had to deal with.