I know exactly how you feel bro.... With all of the loss my family has experienced over the last few months, believe me I do understand. However, you do have to look at all the good that is out there......all of the people that love you and care about you, and the people you love and care about.....the people out there that do good things, and care about others (like yourself)......all of nature, days like today where the weather is great, and all of the things you love to do. Just try to remember that life is a cycle, and we all have to go sometime, but life being a cycle means that when one of us goes another baby is born, and a new life begins. Things will get easier over time. I don't know what my feelings are regarding the higher power (i have my days as well), but I do believe that there is a rhyme and reason to the way things happen.