Team Willys
www.rocksolidfab.com
- Location
- Chattanooga, TN
So its late and can't sleep...
Figured I'd get on her and chat for a bit to pass time. Not looking forward to work tomorrow.
So this past week has been kinda interesting to say the least. A few weeks ago I ran into an old high school friend that I sorta had a thing for. We talked a lot but never really became anything more than friends. Anyway, she was working at the Cracker Barrel and we recognized each other and chatted for a few minutes. She was and still is great friend material but I was glad it didn't work out... So now fast forward to this week and the "first love" has been trying to track me down and after going through a old mutual friend she finally gets a hold of me. Shes been married once, divorced, and has 2 kids now, different dads. Wow. Can't deal with that lol. She convinced me to go out to dinner with her to catch up, so Friday night we went and had some pizza together and did just that. I kept it strictly casual though. Definitely no longer interested in being anything more than friends. I just think its sorta funny to hear from her after maybe 9 years or so.
Then today... I check my emails, and low and behold the girl from Cracker Barrel (Jen) has emailed my personal email (she used to have it in High School) and has even been looking online and found my web site and sent an email to my business account. Lol. Not that she's not welcome to do so, I just find it kind odd that all these people are looking for me. So anyway, emails are old school so I've spent the last couple of hours texting back and forth just catching up, and we get off the subject of work, and get onto the subject of past relationships. That's never a good thing for me and it always ends up in sleepless nights... prime example of right now. She is facebook friends with the girl I thought I would marry one day. We have been broken up for over 5 years now... but I still think about her all the time and messing that up is the only regret I have in my whole life. Long story short, I got greedy and forgot about whats important. So it didn't work out and I haven't heard from her in over 4 years. Tonight Jen tells me that she's been engaged for almost 4 years and thinks they are supposed to get married in May or something like that. Honestly its one of those things you know is gonna happen but it doesn't make it any easier. I end up spilling the beans on how I feel, and the mistakes I made to Jen (which is what I do in these times) and she told me I need to contact her one last time before its too late. I'm not sure what I'll say right now, but Jen shot her a message and asked if it would be ok for me to contact her. In any case, I don't have any high hopes or anything, I just think it would be a good thing for her to know how I feel, give me a chance to apologize, and wish her the best in her journey. I kick myself for that mistake all the time.
For a long time I've tried to buy happiness. I bought a really expensive car, I started a business that I work my ass off on, been on big vacations, I build jeeps... all of which is a lot of fun, but no matter what, I'm still not truly happy. I haven't been in a long time. Honestly, I'd give it all up, every last bit of it,to be as happy as I was with her. I'm a successful man, and I've worked hard to get where I am, but how is a man's success measured? Over time, Ive learned its not how thick his wallet is. Which is a hard pill to swallow because that's a lot easier. I believe real success is finding your spouse and giving her your absolute 100%. Today I was out in the shop working as usual and the thought crossed my mind of how cool it would be to be able to share this hobby with the woman of my dreams. I want to build her something really really nice to drive, something that will mean something to her, not because I went to the car lot and dropped 50K, but because I put blood, sweat, and tears into it and we shared the experience together... So I'm still learning and I'm man enough to admit it. Guys, remember whats important in life. Don't mess it up like I did. You may only get the one chance. I just pray I have learned my lesson and I get another chance to try again.
Also, not sure why I wrote all of this here, and I know some of it may not make sense. I'm stone sober but wide awake... guess I just needed to vent.
Thanks for listening.
Figured I'd get on her and chat for a bit to pass time. Not looking forward to work tomorrow.
So this past week has been kinda interesting to say the least. A few weeks ago I ran into an old high school friend that I sorta had a thing for. We talked a lot but never really became anything more than friends. Anyway, she was working at the Cracker Barrel and we recognized each other and chatted for a few minutes. She was and still is great friend material but I was glad it didn't work out... So now fast forward to this week and the "first love" has been trying to track me down and after going through a old mutual friend she finally gets a hold of me. Shes been married once, divorced, and has 2 kids now, different dads. Wow. Can't deal with that lol. She convinced me to go out to dinner with her to catch up, so Friday night we went and had some pizza together and did just that. I kept it strictly casual though. Definitely no longer interested in being anything more than friends. I just think its sorta funny to hear from her after maybe 9 years or so.
Then today... I check my emails, and low and behold the girl from Cracker Barrel (Jen) has emailed my personal email (she used to have it in High School) and has even been looking online and found my web site and sent an email to my business account. Lol. Not that she's not welcome to do so, I just find it kind odd that all these people are looking for me. So anyway, emails are old school so I've spent the last couple of hours texting back and forth just catching up, and we get off the subject of work, and get onto the subject of past relationships. That's never a good thing for me and it always ends up in sleepless nights... prime example of right now. She is facebook friends with the girl I thought I would marry one day. We have been broken up for over 5 years now... but I still think about her all the time and messing that up is the only regret I have in my whole life. Long story short, I got greedy and forgot about whats important. So it didn't work out and I haven't heard from her in over 4 years. Tonight Jen tells me that she's been engaged for almost 4 years and thinks they are supposed to get married in May or something like that. Honestly its one of those things you know is gonna happen but it doesn't make it any easier. I end up spilling the beans on how I feel, and the mistakes I made to Jen (which is what I do in these times) and she told me I need to contact her one last time before its too late. I'm not sure what I'll say right now, but Jen shot her a message and asked if it would be ok for me to contact her. In any case, I don't have any high hopes or anything, I just think it would be a good thing for her to know how I feel, give me a chance to apologize, and wish her the best in her journey. I kick myself for that mistake all the time.
For a long time I've tried to buy happiness. I bought a really expensive car, I started a business that I work my ass off on, been on big vacations, I build jeeps... all of which is a lot of fun, but no matter what, I'm still not truly happy. I haven't been in a long time. Honestly, I'd give it all up, every last bit of it,to be as happy as I was with her. I'm a successful man, and I've worked hard to get where I am, but how is a man's success measured? Over time, Ive learned its not how thick his wallet is. Which is a hard pill to swallow because that's a lot easier. I believe real success is finding your spouse and giving her your absolute 100%. Today I was out in the shop working as usual and the thought crossed my mind of how cool it would be to be able to share this hobby with the woman of my dreams. I want to build her something really really nice to drive, something that will mean something to her, not because I went to the car lot and dropped 50K, but because I put blood, sweat, and tears into it and we shared the experience together... So I'm still learning and I'm man enough to admit it. Guys, remember whats important in life. Don't mess it up like I did. You may only get the one chance. I just pray I have learned my lesson and I get another chance to try again.
Also, not sure why I wrote all of this here, and I know some of it may not make sense. I'm stone sober but wide awake... guess I just needed to vent.
Thanks for listening.