I enjoyed these last time around. Some new ones, maybe some repeats, anyways, I hope you find something you can relate to and get some giggles...
“Anything is possible if you do not know what you’re talking about.”
”Wisdom consists of knowing when to avoid perfection.”
“When a problem goes away, the people working to solve it do not.”
“An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.”
“The solving of a problem lies in finding the solvers.”
“There is nothing so small that it can’t be blown out of proportion.”
“People ask for criticism, but they only want praise.”
“The person with the least expertise has the most opinions.”
“People enjoy things more when they know that other people were left out of the pleasure.”
“Men have become the tools of their tools.”
“Nothing will work that is put back together in the reverse of the way they were dismantled.”
“The only normal people are the ones you don’t know very well.”
“The trouble with doing something the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.”
“Being punctual means only that your mistake will be made on time.”
“The job that pays the most will be offered when there is no time to deliver the services.”
“If you distinguish between good advice and bad advice, you don’t need advice.”
“A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices.”
“After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.”
“Always do something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.”
“Indecision is the basis for flexibility.”
“A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.”
“If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.”
“When you make a right decision, your reasons are sure to be wrong.”
“The one who leaves money to charity in his will is only giving away what no longer belongs to him.”
“Statistics are like expert witnesses – they will testify for either side.”
“Nothing is as good as it seemed beforehand.”
“No man knows what true happiness is until he gets married. By then, of course, it’s too late.”
“It’s better to have a horrible ending than to have horrors without end.”
“There is more to life than increasing its speed.”
“Friends come and go but enemies accumulate.”
“The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.”
“Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own.”
“If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy man – he will find an easier way to do it.”
“A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.”
“Insanity is doing the same things the same way and expecting different results.”
“Honesty ruined more marriages than infidelity.”
“To generalize is to be an idiot.”
“Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.”
“Anything is possible if you do not know what you’re talking about.”
”Wisdom consists of knowing when to avoid perfection.”
“When a problem goes away, the people working to solve it do not.”
“An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.”
“The solving of a problem lies in finding the solvers.”
“There is nothing so small that it can’t be blown out of proportion.”
“People ask for criticism, but they only want praise.”
“The person with the least expertise has the most opinions.”
“People enjoy things more when they know that other people were left out of the pleasure.”
“Men have become the tools of their tools.”
“Nothing will work that is put back together in the reverse of the way they were dismantled.”
“The only normal people are the ones you don’t know very well.”
“The trouble with doing something the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.”
“Being punctual means only that your mistake will be made on time.”
“The job that pays the most will be offered when there is no time to deliver the services.”
“If you distinguish between good advice and bad advice, you don’t need advice.”
“A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices.”
“After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.”
“Always do something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.”
“Indecision is the basis for flexibility.”
“A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.”
“If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.”
“When you make a right decision, your reasons are sure to be wrong.”
“The one who leaves money to charity in his will is only giving away what no longer belongs to him.”
“Statistics are like expert witnesses – they will testify for either side.”
“Nothing is as good as it seemed beforehand.”
“No man knows what true happiness is until he gets married. By then, of course, it’s too late.”
“It’s better to have a horrible ending than to have horrors without end.”
“There is more to life than increasing its speed.”
“Friends come and go but enemies accumulate.”
“The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.”
“Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own.”
“If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy man – he will find an easier way to do it.”
“A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.”
“Insanity is doing the same things the same way and expecting different results.”
“Honesty ruined more marriages than infidelity.”
“To generalize is to be an idiot.”
“Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.”
