TRL WGN 1
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Central IL
I HOPE IT NEVER COMES TO THIS!!!!!!
ORDERING PIZZA IN 2007
[This is so close to what is probably going to be happening in 2007 that we're not sure how funny this really is...]
Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID number?
Customer: Hi, I'd just like to place an order.
Operator: I must have your NIDN first, sir
Customer: My National ID Number, it's 102049998-45-54610.
Operator: Thank you Mr. Sheehan I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number is 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number is 266-2566. E-mail address is [email protected]. I see you're calling me from home.
Customer: Huh? Where'd you get all this information?
Operator: We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir.
Customer: (sighs) I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas.
Operator: Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice.
Customer: What?!?! What do you recommend, then ?
Operator: You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it.
Customer: What makes you think I'd like something like that?
Operator: Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion.
Customer: All right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.
Operator: That should be plenty for you, your wife and your 4 kids. Your 2 dogs can finish the crusts. Your total is $49.99.
Customer: Lemme give you my credit card number.
Operator: I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit.
Customer: I'll run over to the ! ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here.
Operator: That won't work either, sir. Your checking account is
overdrawn also.
Customer: Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?
Operator: We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45
minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick'em up while you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward.
Customer: Wait! How do you know I ride a bike?
Operator: It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank yesterday.
Customer: Well, I'll be a #%#^^&$%^$@ #
Operator: I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 4, 2003 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here in September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge. Oh yes, I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society?
Customer: (speechless)
Operator: Will there be anything else, sir?
Customer: Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke..
Operator: I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusion clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this... Thank you for calling Pizza Hut!
ORDERING PIZZA IN 2007
[This is so close to what is probably going to be happening in 2007 that we're not sure how funny this really is...]
Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID number?
Customer: Hi, I'd just like to place an order.
Operator: I must have your NIDN first, sir
Customer: My National ID Number, it's 102049998-45-54610.
Operator: Thank you Mr. Sheehan I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number is 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number is 266-2566. E-mail address is [email protected]. I see you're calling me from home.
Customer: Huh? Where'd you get all this information?
Operator: We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir.
Customer: (sighs) I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas.
Operator: Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice.
Customer: What?!?! What do you recommend, then ?
Operator: You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it.
Customer: What makes you think I'd like something like that?
Operator: Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion.
Customer: All right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.
Operator: That should be plenty for you, your wife and your 4 kids. Your 2 dogs can finish the crusts. Your total is $49.99.
Customer: Lemme give you my credit card number.
Operator: I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit.
Customer: I'll run over to the ! ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here.
Operator: That won't work either, sir. Your checking account is
overdrawn also.
Customer: Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?
Operator: We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45
minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick'em up while you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward.
Customer: Wait! How do you know I ride a bike?
Operator: It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank yesterday.
Customer: Well, I'll be a #%#^^&$%^$@ #
Operator: I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 4, 2003 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here in September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge. Oh yes, I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society?
Customer: (speechless)
Operator: Will there be anything else, sir?
Customer: Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke..
Operator: I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusion clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this... Thank you for calling Pizza Hut!
