JoesXJ
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- California
I saw this on another forum and it made me laugh.....Dear Red States:
We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the entire Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.
To sum up briefly:
You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches.
We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.
We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
We get 85 percent of America 's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama .
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue; you get to make the red states pay their fair share.
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy
families. You get a bunch of single moms.
Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home.
We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.
With the Blue States in hand, we will have:
firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce
92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit
95 percent of America 's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners)
90 percent of all cheese
90 percent of the high tech industry - most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal all living redwoods, sequoias and condors all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus ... - Stanford , Cal Tech and MIT.
With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with:
- 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs)
- 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes,
- nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes,
- 90 percent of the hurricanes,
- virtually 100 percent of all televangelists and their buddies like Rush Limbaugh, as well as Bob Jones University, Clemson College and the Univ. of Georgia.
We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you very much.
Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you nincompoops believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.
Finally, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have the Mexican stuff when they knock your wall down.
