Since the subject seems to come up a lot lately...

[5-90]

Let me tell y'all what I hate.

Incompentence. People who can't handle a simple job - much less when they have notes and cribsheets from a successful run before - without farkin' the whole thing up. And then, they think it doesn't cause any trouble for the people on the other end.

My MIL is due back. Actually, we'd originally slated her to come back this past Saturday (since they'd be off work at that end, we'd not have work to deal with at this end, and it could be done with minimal impact.)

Of course, she has to travel with oxygen (emphysema/asthma/COPD - and those are just the respiratory issues.) Travelling with oxygen is difficult, but doable - easiest to do with a Personal Oxygen Concentrator (POC).

There are about five POC models that are type-accepted for use in flight by the FAA. She's recently gone from sufficing on 2lpm bolus delivery to 2lpm continuous delivery - I'd figured this out, and the pulmonologist concurred and made it official.

Corrected to 8,000' MSL, that's 3lpm continuous (due to the paucity of air at altitude - 4,000-10,000 controlled would be 3lpm, and no travel pressurised at levels above 10K MSL without special oxygen gear - a nasal cannula won't do.) Note that I specified continuous delivery - the "pulse bolus" system doesn't work anymore.

We also had set up the ticket as a non-stop from OKC to SJC, no layovers and no plane changes (she can crawl the 100-yard in about a fortnight thirty.)

They picked her up on the far end, with a POC, with plenty of batteries, so they should bloody well know it was doable. The scrip for the POC was still valid (good for one year - got it a week before she left here in SEP.) The company we'd gotten the POC from was in the notes I handed off.

So, could someone tell me exactly why, with the tix set up a month in advance, they couldn't find a POC with enough batteries in time? I'm not even sure they got the right one! And, they had to change the flight - instead of the Southwest non-stop we set up, it's a United routed through DEN with all of a half-hour for layover.

And, instead of doing it on Saturday, they decided that Monday afternoon (1600) would be just fine.

Now, we've gotten word that they missed the damned flight - and should be changing it to to-morrow. Same damned time.

I've been spending my afternoon re-arranging doctor's appointments (since she's going to miss the fun "welcome back" day of med appointmets originally slated for to-morrow, to get them out of what's left of my hair!) and figuring out why I haven't heard from the oxygen people (and waiting for them to call back. This exchange started last week.)

My memory may be shot, which is why I write everything down. I take loads of notes. I handed off a copy of these notes when we went out there (I'll be damned if I'm going to hand off the originals - I'll never see them again!) to make the job simple.

If your logistics man is good at his job, he's on his third pot of coffee and his second pack of smokes sometime around 1100, and his hair looks like it came off of Albert "where the ****'s my hairbrush?" Einstein. If he sucks at his job, then everyone looks like that except your logistician, because he's not under any stress at all.

In case you're wondering, there's a reason I keep my hair short. I'm about to go get a pack of smokes for the first time in sixteen years, tho...

Either that, or I'll just go out to OK and start unscrewin' heads. They're obviously not using them anyhow.

The most damning part of all of this? They had a month, and out of the five people involved in caretaking out there, two of them are registered nurses! One works for a cardiologist, who is right next door to a pulmonologist!

Oh - but his wife doesn't see why there's any stress involved in taking care of his mother. She's been out there seven months, but they haven't gotten the "full effect" - no trips to the hospital, or anything like that.

Thanks for reading this far, I just needed to get some of that out of my system before I exploded...

And everyone wonders why my blood pressure is so farkin' high...

 

[kujito]

Wow, I can't even come up with a decent response. :flamemad: Skip the smokes though. Go rotate your tires or something heavy. They don't mind getting cussed at either.
It'll give your mind some time to come up with some new insults that the recipients probably won't get anyway.:doh:

 

[hubs97xj]

As my friend says, "The difference between hacks and professionals, is simply that professionals get paid for screwing up." The context was mechanical/electrical service, but it seems to apply to all fields.

 

[5-90]

As my friend says, "The difference between hacks and professionals, is simply that professionals get paid for screwing up." The context was mechanical/electrical service, but it seems to apply to all fields.

Tru dat. The difference between a "professional" and an "amateur" is a paycheque - nothing more. The professional gets paid for doing what the amateur does for fun. In quite a few cases, the amateur excels the professional in skill (but that's going into "expert" vice "novice.")

No-one is actually getting "paid" at either end (although they've been tapping her dry every damned month she's been out there - but that's another story!) but we can certainly compare skills.

Fact of the matter is, I farkin' despise having to do this. Particularly for the reason it falls to me to do it essentially alone (Mike can't stand up to his wife on anything. At all.) But, as long as I've got the job, I intend to do it in the best way that I know how, because that's what honour demands.

My wife is certainly grateful, and attributes the fact that her mother is still alive directly to me. Her mother has admitted that I've saved her life probably a half-dozen times in the last eight years or so, simply by thinking quickly and making correct decisions under pressure, but I don't keep score (I honestly don't see the books getting balanced without some extraordinary action on someone's part.)

The whole attitude I get from Mike & Terrie is that they don't have to do anything because I don't work for a living. Nevermind that I spend anywhere from thirty to eighty hours a week taking care of his mother - running her about to various doctors (I've actually managed to get personal phone numbers for about a dozen physicians by now - because they know I'm not going to waste their time or call for trivia or miniutiae...) trips to the chemist, running her to the store, keeping all of her accessories in workin' order, and all of the logistics involved in keeping the elderly and infirm around for another record-breaking week (and that's not counting when something actually does go wrong and I have to handle that as well. Considering the ambulance drivers and mobile EMTs at Good Samaritan mostly recognise me on sight - I've been in that ER entirely too much...) you probably get the idea by now. Which is really amusing - considering everyone on this end (my side of the family, the boys' wives, their in-laws, ...) all say "So what? It's Mike's mother, and he has an obligation to her care," so I honestly don't get it.

Yeah, this is a sore spot for me. I'm about to quit doing the job, and he can hire someone to do what I do - all of it - three shifts, seven days.

Or I can just take off this bad leg and wear his arse out with it.

 

[kujito]

Or I can just take off this bad leg and wear his arse out with it.

I vote for that option!

 

[5-90]

I vote for that option!

Yeah. Next time I drive back to see family, I may take I40 instead of I80, and stop off to pay a little visit. I seem to be getting cranky in my old age - probably all the damned pain I'm in...

 

[hubs97xj]

Whoa, I thought you were talking about her caretakers- but you're talking about her own family. Wow, that's even more pathetic.

 

[5-90]

Whoa, I thought you were talking about her caretakers- but you're talking about her own family. Wow, that's even more pathetic.

Yup. I've done a better job than he has, and he's her bloody son! I'm likewise not impressed with the way he lets his wife run roughshod over him on just about anything, and I still can't figure out why he's a DoD civilian (somewhere around GW-17, I think,) they've got two incomes, he gets loads of OT, their cost of living is about half of ours, but they're always broke! Talk about piss-poor money management...

Frankly, when it comes down to caretakers, I'm pretty much it. My wife helps out, but she works full time (and her help pretty much comes down to when a NoK decision is needed - since I don't have MPoA yet - or when she's bathing. Pretty much everything else lands in my lap.

(I wonder what it would cost to hire someone to do what I do, three shifts, seven days? I don't even sleep well when she's around, because I'm always waiting for the next crisis.)

 

[stewie]

Come on Jon, you know better than almost anybody. The more you make something idiot proof, then the world goes and makes a far superior idiot! It was a similar situation with my step fathers mother...

 

[Rob Mayercik]

I wonder what it would cost to hire someone to do what I do, three shifts, seven days? I don't even sleep well when she's around, because I'm always waiting for the next crisis.)

To get someone that would do the job to your specifications/satisfaction? Probably something equalling the defense budget of some small island countries in the Phillipines.

Remember: Amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

 

[5-90]

To get someone that would do the job to your specifications/satisfaction? Probably something equalling the defense budget of some small island countries in the Phillipines.

Remember: Amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

My specifications and satisfaction? I probably won't get that - as you said, it would be roughly equal to the defense budget of some small countries.

I just want someone else to do it - period. Or, pay me to do it, since there are people who get paid quite well to do what I've been doing gratis for several years.

I've pretty much put my life on hold for the last few years (save the past seven months - although the "break" we had was taken up with my wife being diagnosed with asthma - concurrent with the grippe - and very nearly ending up in hospital. She got a doctor's note for a fortnight off from work - I haven't seen one of those in years! She actually had to get a note to go back to work as well, and we're working on ADA compliance now...)

But, taking care of my wife is the job I signed on for. I don't mind being a house-husband, I don't mind taking care of her when she needs it, and I know she appreciates it.

What I object to, quite strenuously, is the fact that:
1) I seem to be expected to take care of my MIL full-time - while working full-time. Sorry gang, I do need some sleep these days.
2) Since I don't work full-time to contribute, no-one else need be expected to either.
3) She's not a blood relation to me, yet I am more responsible for her than someone who is.

And people wonder why I'm frustrated, and why my blood pressure is so high?

If you're not going to hire someone else to do it, or pay for housing for her, then pay me - so I can finally say I'm working full-time (what I'd be asking for is really quite nominal. I just want something better than a slave's wage for a n*****'s work.)

As you've probably guessed, this is really a sore spot with me. More like an "open festering wound" than anything else, but you get the idea. The fact that my specifications are so much higher than anyone else's is immaterial - I just don't want to do it for free anymore, when you come right down to it. And, I want the one who has been getting a skate on it to start to pony up for my time...

 

[stewie]

you know what i hate?!?:firedevil

its people on these online forum thingamabobs that are so fawking impatient. they post up on a problem or situation and they expect someone to pop up with an answer before anyone can type 'dunno.' that really makes my blood boil!:flame:

 

[stewie]

:wstupid:what? no one came on to agree within the last 5 minutes?!?!? WTF gus? you guys are no good to me anyways!



























jk:jester: i just had to try to make someone smile in a thread that needed one to releive some tention

thats ok, im sure i will be :hang: before long anyways

 

[5-90]

I'll give ya an "E" for effort. This resentment is far too deeply rooted to be relieved easily...

You know it's bad when it takes you getting yourself killed to get some time off from the job, y'know?:looney:

 

[5-90]

Just to make things more fun...

(NB: I happened across this thread when I was looking for the "Fraction Macro in Word" thread so I could post some trouble I was having with the Macro that Brendan had given me. Probably pilot error somewhere down the line...)

"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned..."

[RANT]

A week ago, she decided she was ill enough and having enough trouble breathing (not actual "respiratory distress" - I know what that looks like - but more like "significant respiratory effort...) so we went to our normal parking spot at GSH, and checked her into her regular room.

Dunno about the CHF Hx, but the pulmonologist had conferred with the cardiologist and they'd scheduled an echocardiogramme, with suspicion of pulmonary HTN. That's due sometime in July. He'd also scheduled a sleep study to see if her BiPAP pressure(s) needed to be increased (looks like they do - the BiPAP pressure they had/have her on at GSH are higher than the pressures she's running when she's home,) so that's probably going to be accelerated (since Dr. Murthy is the Director of sleep medicine at GSH anyhow - when he gets back from a brief holiday in Spain I'll know more.)

They found a nodule on her left lung - no idea if it's malignant or benign (I'll explain why they don't know next.)

The a. fib. she was originally on Coumadin/warfarin for (which caused gastric bleeding, was discontinued, and she's been on an 81mg QD aspirin regimen for ever since) has come back with a vengeance. It was controlled with cardizem IV (they've gotten it down to PO now,) but the cardizem was also causing drastic hypotension - and with her cardiac Hx and the cardiac issues now, she will not tolerate general anaesthesia. The a. fib. and hypotension were bad enough that they had her down in CVICU for two days...

Both gastric and colonic bleeding are suspected (stools present either black - gastric bleeding - or red - colonic bleeding.)

And the more I find out about her trip back to OK, the more I just want to clobber both of them. Terrie has been riding herd on Mike for pretty much the whole time they've been together (she's been threatening to leave him for the twelve years I've known them!) and he lacks the stones to stand up about it. Hell, about the second time a woman threatens to leave me, I respond with "Pack up your stuff and get out!" I don't need that sort of drama, I get enough from other sources.

While Helen was back there, Terrie would argue with Mike (or just threaten to leave him) about having his mother around, in her presence. When Helen told me about it, I told her she should have just jumped right into the argument - she told me she didn't want to cause any tension. I then asked her why that never seems to stop here here? It's not like Julie and I argue (we may have occasional disagreements, but they happen behind closed doors and in a normal speaking voice. If someone can tell me about it later, we know they were kneeling at keyholes...)

Mike & Terrie are supposed to be coming out here again later this summer. I comfort myself with the thought that, if necessary, I can pick Mike up by his ankles and beat Terrie over the head with him. I blame them both:
- Terrie - for running roughsod over Mike, for wearing the pants in that relationship, and for having a massive double standard (she won't do anything for his mother, but she's Johnny-on-the-spot when her folks are having trouble, and he's just got to let it happen.)
- Mike - for not having the sack to stand up to Terrie and let her know just how things really do need to be. For not standing up for his mother. For not helping his mother. For letting his wife cause trouble for his mother.

I honestly think the stress of having to see the arguments over her have caused a recurrence of Helen's cardiac issues (and they're not doing my HTN any damned good, either.)

So, Helen's back in hospital (she never gets that sick out in OK,) I'm not looking forward to Mike & Terrie coming out here again, and we can just about predict what's going to happen if we don't do something to force the issue in another direction (they're going to come all the way out here and spend damned near the entire time up in Sacramento with her folks, and might see his mother for a total of 2-4 hours in two weeks. Just like last time.)

You know, abuse is not only carried out by direct action. Abuse can also be an "omission of action" - just like we're seeing here. And, frankly, we're both getting damned tired of it (and just tired in general. That emotional, psychic worn-out that food & sleep just don't fix.)

Gah - I'll try to shut up now, but I just had to get that out.

[/RANT]

 

[fscrig75]

Why don't you just call Mike and tell him what the problem is and he can't come if he is bringing his wife.

It might not go over so well with your wife but if its better health wise for your MIL she should get over it pretty quickly.

 

[5-90]

Why don't you just call Mike and tell him what the problem is and he can't come if he is bringing his wife.

It might not go over so well with your wife but if its better health wise for your MIL she should get over it pretty quickly.

Because Mike is a ball-less wonder who doesn't even answer his phone.

 

[fscrig75]

Because Mike is a ball-less wonder who doesn't even answer his phone.

Well then skip his ass and tell the b*tch why he is welcome but she isn't.

Just seems like someone's feelings are going to get hurt, might as well keep the collateral damage to a minimum.

 

[Ecomike]

My solution was to stay single after the wife left 15 years ago. Parents are already gone. Now what to do with the teenagers, Hmm?

Reading this thread makes me feel much better about my soon to be terminal flooding problems every time it rains here now at my house. Misery loves company.

Just curious though, why haven't you moved her into a full time nursing home?

 

[5-90]

My solution was to stay single after the wife left 15 years ago. Parents are already gone. Now what to do with the teenagers, Hmm?

Reading this thread makes me feel much better about my soon to be terminal flooding problems every time it rains here now at my house. Misery loves company.

Just curious though, why haven't you moved her into a full time nursing home?

Cost, essentially. We can't foot the bill ourselves, and we haven't found a useful court mechanism for forcing him to pay (yet.)