Get The #&^% Off My Property!

[woody]

LOL thanks for the nasty visual RichP <clawingeyesoutmodeon> As Kudzu would say... "Etch-A-Sketch!"

Thankfully, we live far enough off the beaten path that we rarely get much uninvited company.

Last dogs we had were free-ranging English Mastiff/Great Dane mixes. They had great fun with strangers, rabbits, and anything else they set their sights on. They loved our UPS delivery guy... If his door was open, they would jump right up in the van with him....sometimes brawling amongst themselves to settle who got petted first. I bet he was a little freaked the first time they did that.

Momma and I are in disagreement on what breed for our next dogs. I'd like to have a Johnson-spec American Bulldog, she wants another German Shepherd. :idea: Maybe we can get another 'mix' LOL that would make a freaky-lookin dawg.

 

[matt6669]

heh side note but get the german shepard. I can't wait till I can get another Shepard, one of the most loving and protective dogs i've ever had.

 

[UNCC_99XJ]

I used to have a "No Tresspassing" sign posted on the Garage, but I thought it looked a bit TOO unfriendly.

We had a "Beware of Bad Dog" sign on the fence gate of our old house....seemed to do the trick quite well, considering than 80% of the time we were in the backyard with the dog loose (she's a 50lb Boxer mix whos the biggest baby you've ever seen) and the first thing they saw after knocking on the fence was her head and me "trying to hold her back"

Another favorite of mine (and this only works if you have a storm door on the front of your house) is to either just stand where ever you are in your house (where they can see you) with the house door open, but the storm door (ours was glass) closed and locked, and just watch them....basically a staring contest. If you don't stop and stare, just continue about whatever your doing, making sure to wave a couple of times to let them know you're still there

 

[bjoehandley]

We did have a saleman that was a tad too agressive one weekday, my truck was in the shop and her car was the only one in the driveway. I heard him knock at the door and then he walked in I heard the panic in her voice when she asked him to leave. Grabbed the 12ga winchester pump and cycled it as I headed down the stairs from the bedroom. He was already out the end of the driveway by the time I got to the kitchen. Called the state police over it but never heard anything back.
Otherwise I have not seen a door to door salesman in 20+ years when fuller brush used to come around.. wonder if it has something to do with the 'castle' laws here in PA...

Grandma Handley had one of those show up at the farm house one time, luckily the kids Dad went to school with had been talking about this salesman that was doing that to their mothers so Dad warned Grandma ahead of time. Well this salesman waltzed right into the farm house and was met by my grandmother who was jamming her pistol in this guy's gut almost immeadiatly. He got the hint and left quickly

 

[Stumpalump]

After reading that, I'm going out ASAP to get my license to carry. I just figured out how to make the world a better place. Thanks, Stump.

Don't kill the assholes just jack with them. Like when a telemarketer calls I acked all interested then I say " That sounds good and you sound real nice but I need to know what are you wearing?" Then after I pry an ansewer out of them I say in a sleazy voice "No, What are you wearing under that?"
I've had those dumb telemarketers not only tell me thong or panties but what color. Oh and it really freaks the dude telemarketers out!

 

[footdale]

I like it when they approach with a question that shouldn't have "No" for an answer to initiate the conversation. Like, "Do you believe in torturing puppies?" The last one I got was from an inner city kid (one of the kids from the van) selling magazines and asked: "Do you believe kids should have the opportunity to go to college?" The look on his face was pretty good when I told him "No, I don't. Thanks"

Down in our outdoor mall in Boulder, Co there are these annoying environmentalist kids that are always out there trying to solicit money. We are down there all the time so we constantly get approached by them. A first it was annoying but now it is starting to be a lot of fun just to give them off the wall answers.

 

[Gerr]

My wife and I both agree if a sales person can find our driveway avoid the ours and our neigbors dogs long enough to read the sighn warning them they are in range and still make it to the door and knock Ill buy something just on priciple that anyone that retarded needs thier job.

 

[RichP]

Down in our outdoor mall in Boulder, Co there are these annoying environmentalist kids that are always out there trying to solicit money. We are down there all the time so we constantly get approached by them. A first it was annoying but now it is starting to be a lot of fun just to give them off the wall answers.

We have them here too in manhattan, they're called stock brokers or investment counselors, only difference is they are going for 5 or 6 figures...

 

[75SV1]

I used to get the Home Improvement calls every month when I lived in an apartment. Same person or company, every month. Since I've had my house for about 10 years, only one call for windows. I just replaced my windows like a month before. I always hated the religous ones. But at least they left after passing out some piece of paper.
Tom

 

[XJ Dreamin']

Since we're including phone solicitations, I've got a recent one.

We applied for a charge card last December at Toys'R Us to take advantage of a discount and 0.0% interest on some Xmas purchases. A couple of months later I get a phone call from Chase, the issuer of the Toys 'R Us card. The caller was female with a very clear mid-west American accent. After an intro and the information that we might be recorded for 'quality control assurance' she starts in on some kind of upgrade that offers points/dollars charged or some such. I cut her off to ask a question. "Is there a fee for this?" There will be a small annual fee but the services the upgrade offers are sooooo fantastic...I cut her off again. "I'd like to ask one more question." Sure. "Are we being recorded?" What? "You said we might be recorded. Are we, at this time, being recorded?" Yes, we are. "Fine. Then, for the record I would like to state that I categorically refuse any change to the original agreement that I signed that increases in any way any financial obligation on my part that was not specified in that original agreement. Do you understand the statement I just made." Yes, sir but this upgrade really is... "Was my statement recorded?" Yes, it was. "Then that is my reply to your offer. Thank you. Have a nice day."

Since that exchange, about every two weeks or so, I get a call from Chase - except now the accent is Indian. "'ello. Meesta *mangled-last-name*?" Yes. "My name-a eess Ramajamalama Maleantiantu (no offense to natives of India - that is my best translation). I am calling from Chase Bank.." *hang up*

 

[98XJSport]

I always used to get calls trying to sell me the local paper. Problem is, we live a mile back in the woods from where they deliver. Confused them to no end when I told them that they won't deliver it to my home, when it said on thier end that they delivered to my town. I would have to keep telling them that it's not that I don't want them to deliver, it's that they won't make the trip, os how can they sell it to me? It would go downhill from there...

 

[ren]

I still think that my 196lb Akita/Rott mix is absolutely wonderful for for the types that can't/won't take a hint. He loves to sit on the hood of their car and "smile" at them through the windshield (now, if he would do it when my mother-in-law shows up...) of course, IF you can make it up the drive way, then you "might" have a chance, small one, but...

 

[Blaine B.]

By cleanings they mean stealing, and by carpet they mean anything of value in your house...

LOL