Get The #&^% Off My Property!

We had another couple over for dinner tonight. Just some chili dogs with chips and salsa, some 42, and some gossip about other folks at church. Just a few minutes after they had arrived, before we could even settle into the pre-dinner socializing, there was a knock at the door. I still had the 16mo on my right arm and her bottle in my left hand but I was closest to the door, so I went to check in out. I pulled the door open and there was an honest-to-God door-to-door salesman, at 6:30 on a Friday night. I'm amazed that they still do that.

Now I have a very definite policy concerning door-to-door salesmen. Namely, they leave my property ASAP without delivering their sales pitch.

Step One: Don't stand in the doorway. When I realized what I was dealing with (I get about 2-3 of these a year) I stepped through the doorway and closed the door behind me. In most cases this forces him to take a step back. Mentally, he has to reset his delivery. It throws him 'off' just slightly. I plant myself in front of the door, making sure that my body language sends a very clear, "I ain't movin', and you ain't gittin' in." It always helps to have a kid running around. Makes it look like I really do not have the time to frack around with this ahole knocking at my door. The best accessory, if you can swing it is a 16mo on your right arm and her bottle in your left hand. Be sure, no matter how loud she screams, that you do not give her the bottle.

Step Two: Always be courteous, at first. Make him think that, despite the initial setback of loosing his position at the door he might actually have a chance. However, under no circumstance allow him to get more than 5 - 10 words into his speal. This guy started with his name and what, apparently was supposed to be the obvious fact that he was the guy who's going around the area showing teachers and parents a system of learning enhancements...blah, blah.

Time for courteous to stop: Step Three: Establish your position and do not waver. Looking him straight in the eye, not shouting but in a direct, well projected voice I said, "I have no idea what the hell you're talking about."

Step Four: Never allow him to get away with side-stepping the fact that he is selling something. "Well, sir. I show teachers and parents how they can enhance their children's..." Same direct voice: "Ah. Not interested. Thank You. Have a good weekend." Realizing, duh, that I am not interested, he goes for sympathy. "Well, I'm just supposed to demonstrate how these educational products.." Slight increase in volume, now: "Yeah. I understand that you're selling something. I am not interested. Thank You." He goes for the 'fellow worker' ploy: "Look, this is just my job..." Take a half step forward: "That's your choice. I'm not buying. You can leave now. Have a nice holiday."

Step Five: Don't let up until he is well on his way. At that point he picked up his satchel and, taking a step away decided to try the 'poor college student' ploy: "I'm just trying to work my way through college..." Raise your pitch just a bit, so that you sound more sincere: "Good luck with that." Drop your pitch back down as he starts to walk away: "Good bye. Have a nice holiday." Now he's just pathetic: "I don't even get a holiday. I have to work.." Now that's funny: "You can stop apologizing, now," as he walks back down the driveway. "I'm not apologizing, I just..." as I step back inside and close the door on him.

Step Six: Watch him until he's back in his car and is moving away (never trust a door-to-door salesman). "Who was that?" asked the wife. "Oh, just a salesman," I said. "Why do you antagonize them like that?" I'm slightly offended: "I didn't antagonize him. I let him do his bit and told him we didn't want it." Shaking her head: "Some day one of them is going to take a swing at you." Hah! That'll be the day

I hate that kinda crap(door to door sales). Door to door people are fair game for any sort of mental abuse. IMO you didn't go as far as you could have.

I don't care what kind of buisness your in the salesman can make the most money. Lumber by the box car load or container shipments of McDonalds toys. Medical equipment or drugs. The high level salesman own the mansions. To get to a high payiing sales job like this you need whats called a trac record in "outside sales". Start out door to door then work your way up to copiers or insuance may a short time in the car biz. Next move on to comercial building supplys or liquer sales and up to Medical products or medical devices.
Medronics makes pacemakers and heart stuff. The salesmen start at 250 k per year with company car plus commision. If they don't at least double or tripple their salery they get replaced. I work on eye doc stuff and our salsmen get let go if the don't make 250k a year commision and we don't lose manny.
One part is learning out side sales and getting the trac record so you can move up the chain. The hard part is learning to live with yourself after dealing with assholes like you all day. You not an asshole but you know what I mean about dealing with rejection and peoples crap.
But in the end the doctors, lawers and sucsefull buisness owners live on the water front property in the mansions next to the sales reps for many companies. So next time befor you run one off try to pick out the ones that have that special spark and shack hands with a futur millionair.

Wow, you got lucky- in my neighborhood the bastards ride around in a van, like ten of them. Last week they were giving away free carpet cleanings....what the hell?

We had JW's coming by a bunch of times on sat and sun mornings, one morning they showed up and interupted something. I got really ticked, walking to the kitchen door with a woody poking up against my sweat pants solved that problem, not been back since in the past 5 years....:roflmao:

We did have a saleman that was a tad too agressive one weekday, my truck was in the shop and her car was the only one in the driveway. I heard him knock at the door and then he walked in I heard the panic in her voice when she asked him to leave. Grabbed the 12ga winchester pump and cycled it as I headed down the stairs from the bedroom. He was already out the end of the driveway by the time I got to the kitchen. Called the state police over it but never heard anything back.
Otherwise I have not seen a door to door salesman in 20+ years when fuller brush used to come around.. wonder if it has something to do with the 'castle' laws here in PA...

benni302 said:

Last week they were giving away free carpet cleanings....what the hell?

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By cleanings they mean stealing, and by carpet they mean anything of value in your house...

Dealing with solicitors is actually one of the social aspects that I like the best about living in a small mountain town. We don't get many of them at all. If you have a sign on your door...they don't approach. Heck I don't even have a "No soliciting" sign and I've only had one gal try and sell me some beef one day last summer. I've got neighbors that have signs that say, "Within range". That combined with the fairly loose gun control laws would make me not want to go door to door.

I don't really have too many gripes with them honestly. Their trying to do a job just like I am. Their job entails they go to the people. I'm sure most DTD sales people are honest folks trying to make a living and support themselves or even their own newborn(s). On the odd event that I do get one...I try and be courteous and politely decline. I'm sure they don't get that too often.

My .02.

I used to have a "No Tresspassing" sign posted on the Garage, but I thought it looked a bit TOO unfriendly.

I am, no suprise, a bit anti-social with regard to unwarranted visitors or callers.

I don't care what you're selling, If I didn't invite you, you will most likely get a "I'm not interested" in like 2 seconds. If you are obstinant and decide to argue with me, I become more agressive.

I was working the the Jeep on day and this car drives in. I eyed it up and decided I didn't know the guy. He gets out with the clip board and I'm ready for him. He gets out "I'm with XYZ roofing..." and I told I wasn't interested. He starts to argue. I tell him to leave. He still argues and I start to quickly close the (10ft) gap, wrench in hand. He left rather in a hurry for some reason, shouting and calling names all the way. Yah, like that would make me buy his product. <shrug>

Witnesses don't even stop here anymore. They still canvas the neighborhood, but don't even walk the driveway.

Phone calls are the same deal.
If you call and do not intro in 1 second, you will be hung up on. That covers the phone bank machines. If you manage to make it that far, and you are a salesman, researcher, or political action person, you will be told "I'm not interested, have a nice day" then hear the receiver click.

Yah, I realize that there are folks who make their living this way, and I kinda feel bad about not giving them a chance, but I don't really want to be disturbed by salespeople on my time.

Zuki-Ron said:

Phone calls are the same deal.
If you call and do not intro in 1 second, you will be hung up on. That covers the phone bank machines. If you manage to make it that far, and you are a salesman, researcher, or political action person, you will be told "I'm not interested, have a nice day" then hear the receiver click.

Yah, I realize that there are folks who make their living this way, and I kinda feel bad about not giving them a chance, but I don't really want to be disturbed by salespeople on my time.

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I've found the best way to deal with that crap is to just lay the phone on the counter (without disconnecting), go about your business, and within a minute or two, they hang up. That trick has NEVER failed me. It's fun to see how long they'll hang on the line, and it keeps the blood pressure from boiling.

mtnxj said:

I've found the best way to deal with that crap is to just lay the phone on the counter (without disconnecting), go about your business, and within a minute or two, they hang up. That trick has NEVER failed me. It's fun to see how long they'll hang on the line, and it keeps the blood pressure from boiling.

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That sounds like too much work and I know sometimes I'd forget to hang up the phone

When I'm not here, the answering machine is on and catches some funy stuff along that same vain. The people I do business with are real folks, so they just leave a message and I get back to them. However, the message is just long enough to trick the phone bank machines and finish, including the beep, just as the phone bank operator comes on. I can't even count the number of times I've came home and the message is " Hello? Mr. Anderson? Hello?..." There was even one guy who started swearing after a while thinking I was messing with him, and all the while he was talking direct to the answering machine. Priceless!

man have i got sone stories on this subject...

first answering the door nude is NOT a deterrant i have had sales pitches continue as i stood in the door dripping(i had just gotten out of the shower i dropped the towel for effect)wet and this disturbed me it does not detter the JWs either i have talked about prophets with JWs (they actually interrupted my lawn mowing...in the BACK yard )and then told them how hitler thought nostradomas predicted his imminent victory they went from relaxed and friendly to trying to GTF outta there in a hurry the best thing is to have a dog around 125 pounds or so let him bark and squeeze by him out the door while he growls inside and ask them to leave as you hold the doorhandle

on a side note my friend jim had a phone salesman call (dinner time ...like ALWAYS) and he put the phone down ate dinner talked shop and started a card game he saw the phone picked it up...and the b@st@rd was still there so he did the survey and told the guy he needed a new job

i've got more... lots more

My dogs answer the door with us. I'm 6'3" and do not have to bend to pet my dogs... I've actually had folks try to hold my door SHUT when they see the dogs. One weighs a mere 120# the other is a 175# English Mastiff... But I think the killer is the attack Shih Tzu that weighs in at less than 15#!

neonrog said:

My dogs answer the door with us. I'm 6'3" and do not have to bend to pet my dogs... I've actually had folks try to hold my door SHUT when they see the dogs. One weighs a mere 120# the other is a 175# English Mastiff... But I think the killer is the attack Shih Tzu that weighs in at less than 15#!

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Pics of the mastiff please. I love those dogs.

I disconnected the door bell long ago. Anybody I want to visit me has my cell phone number.
I have a gate between the street and the front door and two Jack Russel Terriers that keep there radar on 24/7.
Funny the persistent ones, ignore the beware of dog sign after they see the attack rats and get about halfway in the gate when my Weimeraner shows up showing all his teeth. A Jack Russel on each ankle and the big one coming in about crotch high. I've trained him not to bite women, but he does stick his nose right on in there, just to make sure she's a girl.

8Mud said:

A Jack Russel on each ankle and the big one coming in about crotch high. I've trained him not to bite women, but he does stick his nose right on in there, just to make sure she's a girl.

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Ever find any kinky women that enjoy that

RichP said:

Ever find any kinky women that enjoy that

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I don't know if they are kinky or not, but it's surprising how many smile.

Stumpalump said:

I don't care what kind of buisness your in the salesman can make the most money. Lumber by the box car load or container shipments of McDonalds toys. Medical equipment or drugs. The high level salesman own the mansions. To get to a high payiing sales job like this you need whats called a trac record in "outside sales". Start out door to door then work your way up to copiers or insuance may a short time in the car biz. Next move on to comercial building supplys or liquer sales and up to Medical products or medical devices.
Medronics makes pacemakers and heart stuff. The salesmen start at 250 k per year with company car plus commision. If they don't at least double or tripple their salery they get replaced. I work on eye doc stuff and our salsmen get let go if the don't make 250k a year commision and we don't lose manny.
One part is learning out side sales and getting the trac record so you can move up the chain. The hard part is learning to live with yourself after dealing with assholes like you all day. You not an asshole but you know what I mean about dealing with rejection and peoples crap.
But in the end the doctors, lawers and sucsefull buisness owners live on the water front property in the mansions next to the sales reps for many companies. So next time befor you run one off try to pick out the ones that have that special spark and shack hands with a futur millionair.

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After reading that, I'm going out ASAP to get my license to carry. I just figured out how to make the world a better place. Thanks, Stump.

WaXJ_Skier said:

I hate that kinda crap(door to door sales). Door to door people are fair game for any sort of mental abuse. IMO you didn't go as far as you could have.

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You should check with MCI and Chase bank. Those guys got files on me. They don't like my anymore

riverfever said:

Dealing with solicitors is actually one of the social aspects that I like the best about living in a small mountain town. We don't get many of them at all. If you have a sign on your door...they don't approach. Heck I don't even have a "No soliciting" sign and I've only had one gal try and sell me some beef one day last summer. I've got neighbors that have signs that say, "Within range". That combined with the fairly loose gun control laws would make me not want to go door to door.

I don't really have too many gripes with them honestly. Their trying to do a job just like I am. Their job entails they go to the people. I'm sure most DTD sales people are honest folks trying to make a living and support themselves or even their own newborn(s). On the odd event that I do get one...I try and be courteous and politely decline. I'm sure they don't get that too often.

My .02.

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I let them talk until I know what they are selling, then I tell them, very politely, "No. I'm not interested." It's when they ignore me and continue their pitch that I ramp up. If they lie to me - if they use any euphemism for 'selling' - then they're lucky to get away with their original a$$hole intact. There's plenty of people supporting their newborns with honest work. Don't expect to get that mansion on the lake by coming to my door to lie to me and ignore me.