Scam the Scammers

I normally ignore all spam emails, but this one caught my eye as it professed to be from FedEx, but had a "@9.cn" domain, so I read it. I was greatly amused by how horribly thought out and how poorly this email was written that I felt compelled to respond. Now, I am a creative type of person, but I thought I would allow the "brain trust" to come up with some creative responses before I do. Here's the email in its entirety exactly as I received it:
=========================================================


FEDEX COURIER SERVICE,
1 Curzon Street
London , UK
W1J 5HD
Tel: +447035987393
Hours: 24 Hours / 7 Days per week


Dear Customer!

SHIPMENT CODE: CPEL/OWN/9856
PARCEL #: EG2272


We have been waiting for you to contact us regarding the delivery of your
package to you. We assumed that our contact details were given to you by
Heineken. The content of your package itself is a Bank Draft worth of
850,000.00 Pounds. The package is registered with us for mailing by
Heineken, We are sending you this email because your package is been
registered on a Special Order. What you have to do now, is to contact our
Delivery Department for immediate dispatch of your package to your
residential address. Note that as soon as our Delivery Team confirms your
information, it will take only two working days (48 hours) for your package
to be delivered to you. For your information, the VAT & Shipping charges
as well as Insurance fees have been paid by Heineken before your package
was registered. Note that the payment that is made on the Insurance,
Premium & Clearance Certificates, are to certify that the Bank Draft is
not a Drug Affiliated Fund (DAF) neither is it funds to sponsor Terrorism
in your country. This will help you avoid any form of query from the
Monetary Authority of your country.

However, you will have to pay a sum of (310 Pounds) to the FedEx Delivery
Department being full payment for the Security Keeping Fee of the FedEx
Company as stated in our privacy terms & condition page. Also be informed
that Heineken would have paid for the Security Keeping fee, but we do not
accept such payment considering the facts that all items & packages that
are registered with us have a time limitation and we cannot accept payment
not knowing when you will be picking up the package or even responding to
us. So we cannot take the risk to have accepted such payment in case e of any
possible demurrage.

Kindly note that Heineken did not leave us with any further information.
We hope that you respond to us as soon as possible because if you fail to
respond before the expiry date we may refer the package to the United Kingdom
Commission for Welfare as the package do not have a return address.


Kindly contact the delivery department (FedEx Delivery Post) with the
details given below:


FedEx Delivery Post
Contact Person: Mr. Mark Roberts
Email: [email protected]
Phone: +447035987393


kindly complete the below form and send it to the email address given
above. This is mandatory to re-confirm your Postal address and telephone
numbers.


FULL NAMES:
TELEPHONE:
POSTAL ADDRESS:
CITY:
STATE:
COUNTRY:


As soon as your details are received, our delivery team will give you the
necessary payment procedure so that you can effect the payment for the
Security Keeping Fees and hence the delivery of your package to you takes
place immediately.


Kindly send all corresponding email messages to Mr. Mark Roberts
([email protected])

Yours Faithfully,
Mrs. Rebecca Rose.
FedEx Online Management Team.
All rights reserved. ? 1995-2009 FedEx

tell em thanks, but Fedex already delivered the package.

McQue said:

tell em thanks, but Fedex already delivered the package.

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*snerk* - that's probably the best possible answer (and it would really screw with them...)

Use an anonomous emailer to reply. I used to XXXX with these guys now I get 5+ a day

MpSlayer said:

Use an anonomous emailer to reply. I used to XXXX with these guys now I get 5+ a day

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Good tip!

http://www.anonymailer.net/

MpSlayer said:

Use an anonomous emailer to reply. I used to XXXX with these guys now I get 5+ a day

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Yeah I was thinking this when I read it. A great way for them to confirm that you have an active email address is to reply to an obvious scam.

messing with the scammers can be fun check out this site.

http://www.ebolamonkeyman.com/

ECKSJAY said:

Yeah I was thinking this when I read it. A great way for them to confirm that you have an active email address is to reply to an obvious scam.

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However it's always fun controlling your own smtp server, you can create email addresses like XXXXyou or eatshit, send and then delete it....

Me and my friends used to do this to nigerian 419ers all the time... then I got tired of wasting my time and simply started replying to each scammer with my from: and reply-to: forged to point to the other one. I always wondered how many times I got two scammers trying to scam each other, and how long it took before they realized.

This also works nicely if you have two phone lines, a coupler, and a telemarketer problem.

Ask them for a tracking number.

I was thinking of playing the part of some college stoner who just went to London for the summer and is amazed that Heineken already chose a winner for the drawing I entered. But I actually thought it was Newcastle's drawing....oh well, I was wasted what do I know....at the juice bar that is actually located at 1 Curzon Street in London. And that it is a great thing that I won cuz I didn't want to explain to my parents that I spent my tuition money on plane tickets and beer rather than school.

Or something equally as lame.

Maybe a 78 year old woman whose cat was just diagnosed with kitty leukemia?

Tell them you'll pick up the package in person, you just happen to be in London on business.

I thought about that one too Burbon.

maybe reply back with a link to the google map street view showing the apartment complex where they possibly live (and not where fed ex resides)

i just got an email saying i won the lottery in South Africa, sounds legit

no way...I won...got the email to prove it...yours must be a scam.

Most of the time I just delete scammer email, but if I have a few extra minutes, I usually reply with something like this...

Thank you for notifying me so promptly...I have been real busy lately so I apologize for not getting back to you in a timely fashion. Now that I have a free moment I advise you to eat shit and die. Best regards,...

419eater.com, anyone?

We just got around to getting our land line phone hooked back up. (We got kicked out of the house by a tree through it, courtesy of Ike). We dropped sevice long enough that they gave us a new number , and we've been getting 2-5 telemarketer calls a day, since we aren't back on the no-call list yet. It's given me a rare chance to mess with telemarketers.
The last one who called eventually hung up, after I spent about 10 minutes trying to get him to clearly state if the home security system he was trying to sell me was capable of keeping out elves :roflmao

NICE!!!!









about the elves I mean

MischiefMan said:

Maybe a 78 year old woman whose cat was just diagnosed with kitty leukemia?

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I messed with scambaiting for a bit, sort of fun when you get a good one. Sometimes if you act like the most innocent person in the world (maybe mention God and the bible a few thousand times, too. They feel sorry for the religious ones sometimes) and they will say "I have to admit, I am a scammer, I am just trying to get through school and really need some money...". They then try to guilt-trip you into sending them money "for school" or "books".

Make sure to use a good name like Dan D. Ruff, Pat Mahiney, or Ben Dover!

check out thescambaiter.com, read some of the "Anus Laptop" scams. Should get you inspired!