All the News That's Printed to Fit...

Todays smiles KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the actual AP headline)


Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.

Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.

One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.

The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head.

When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head.

A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head.

When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains.

She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.

Linda is a blonde and a Democrat, but I'm certain that's irrelevant.

Brought to you by Weekday Workday World News (WWWN) - "Around the world around the clock! Down some streets, and up yours..."

5-90

Mythbusters confirmed it two years ago.

OT said:

Mythbusters confirmed it two years ago.

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Yeah, but it just made the rounds to me. Since I don't remember seeing it here before (I had to stop EVERYTHING for about 10 minutes to catch my breath...) I thought I'd share a laugh.

Maybe you'll think it's funny, maybe you won't. However, I have a fairly morbid and irreverent sense of humour - the sort of thing that would cause belly laughs when seeing someone get shot in the arse...

I did manage to not blow a quart of iced tea out through my nose, tho...

5-90

I was doing my time as an EMT in an emergency room in a hospital in NJ. Guy came in holding his head up straight like a neck brace, he'd just walked 2 miles from the center of town to the hospital. He told the woman at the desk that he had broken neck, she refused to do anything till he handed her some ID [accountant type gate keeper in the ER, since replaced]. They argued until a doctor came out, they straight boarded him standing up then took him in for Xrays, sure enough it was broken.

Almost as funny sa the first time i heard it in the 1970s.

Almost.

Haleyes said:

http://www.snopes.com/crime/safety/biscuit.htm

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Fine - so it's a joke. I don't care - it's still funny!:angel:

Most of the best jokes have a grain of truth - and most of the stuff I published under the WWWN byline was little more then bogon emissions anyhow - that's why I resurrected it...

Fact or fiction, I still found it amusing (and, given the calibre of people I bump into, not too much suspension of disbelief is required...)

All in good fun, no?

5-90:sunshine:

Oh, I agree. Funny little tale. It's interesting to me how stuff like that gets going. Snopes usually has the scoop. Now, wheather or not thier info. has any truth to it, I don't know. Still an interesting read though.

By confirmed, do you mean Mythbusters 'Busted' it or confirmed that it was possible? Didn't see that one.

Haleyes said:

http://www.snopes.com/crime/safety/biscuit.htm

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A lot of 'sightings' but no origin. I'd have to say not busted, and I'll tell you why.

I had the boys in the kitchen Monday night to make pigs-in-a-blanket. Took the Pilbury croisant tube out of the fridge and set it on the counter. The fridge was, what? 38ish* - the room was 80*. We left the container there on the counter while we opened the hotdog package when - POP! "What the frock!" It wasn't anything like a gunshot, but it was loud enough and sudden enough to make me jump. The dang thing had blown out about 1/3 way down from where you're supposed to pull the outer cover off. It jumped from the counter onto the floor and there was some dough sticking out, although none of it went flying anywhere.

Of course, ours had already survived the transition from store to car. I assume the tube was damaged sometime while it was in the fridge.

If you took it from a 70somthing* store into a sun heated car it might be louder than ours.

Wikipedia said:

Plausible.
The dough can blow out of many types of biscuit cans at a car's internal temperature of 145 °F (60 °C) with enough force to potentially strike the driver of the car in the back of the head. However, no one can actually verify the incident actually occurred.

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It was in the Mythbusters pilot episode.

OT said:

It was in the Mythbusters pilot episode.

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Never have seen the pilot. Normally, I find Snopes to be very effective against urbane legends that come through my e-mail. They can usually track a fake story back to the original. In this case, given my personal experience and the fact that Snopes could not ID the origin, I'm sticking with plausible - or at least a plausible exaggeration.

Then there's the story of the fix-a-flat can explosion in an overstuffed VW bug. That was related to me back around 1980 as a first-hand experience. Guy on my dorm floor came back from Christmas break and told the story as happening to him and a buddy on their way home after finals. Ten years later I was hearing it as an urban legend. I'd told the story plenty of times in that period. I might have been on the leading edge of that one. Makes me feel kind of proud :laugh3:

Can we send a case of those to Jeep Biscuit ??

Lou said:

Can we send a case of those to Jeep Biscuit ??

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Good call.

OT said:

Good call.

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Yep.

So, with your user name now "OT" can we call you Capt.? Rhymes with what we call Windows Admins (Capt. OK).