Divorce Agreement

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives,
socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this
latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce.
I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of
> future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its
> course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not
> ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms.
> We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go
> our own way. Here is a model separation agreement:
>
> Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass
> each taking a portion That will be the difficult part, but I am
> sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it
> should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can
> effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such
> distinct and disparate tastes. We don't like redistributive taxes
> so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the
> ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the
> cops, the NRA and the military You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore
> and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a
> bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).
>
> We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical
> companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street You can have your beloved
> homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot
> Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the
> Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.
>
> You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the
> right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have
> the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of
> life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.
>
> We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to
> Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have
> the U. N., but we will no longer be paying the bill.
>
> We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars.
> You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.
>
> You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing
> doctors We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a
> right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National
> Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to
> Teach the World to Sing Kum Ba Ya , or We Are the World ...
>
> We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle
> up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll
> keep our history, our name and our flag.
>
> Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other
> like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not
> agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, we can
> wager a bet on which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
>
> Sincerely,
>
> John J. Wall, Law Student, and an American
>
> P. S. Also, you can have Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda.
:cheers:
>
>

They can have Streisand if they want, but Fonda needs jailed of shot.

That should be non-negotiable.

They can also have all Democrat politicians, as well as all American Socialists and Communists. Since Republicans are leaning left of centre of late as well, they can have those too.

We'll keep the Libertarians. They can have bread and circuses, but don't come crying to us when you run out of bread and/or circuses.

If you want our protection, we'll have to come to a treaty. What can you offer us in return that we don't already have? We'll probably have more of it after this divorce in finalised anyhow. Good luck finding something!

In the spirit of fairness, we'll cede the following territory:
California (all of it - this will give you some useful agricultural land. Just figure out how to use it.)
Maryland to New York State, inclusive.
Illinois

Air travel between your dissociated territories is advisable. You will still have coastal ports available for surface shipping, so that's no trouble. Note that you don't have coastal land anywhere near major oil-producing coastlines - however, this should not pose any problem for you, since you're set on not using petroleum fuels, petrochemistry, or anything else to do with oil or natural gas anyhow. So, that works out neatly. You can also let any coalmines you happen to end up with lie fallow - since you don't like coal.

What's wrong with Subaru station wagons?

:dunno:

Hey I love PA why are you guys gonna give it to them. I don't want to have to leave. That would mean they get Rausch Creek too

x2, Carlisle is a nice place....Mt Holly Springs too....and the South Mountain...

Harrisburg is pretty nice too, friendly small city. Plus we got TMI there too, free power.

:dunno:

Just trying to unload as much wanted cargo as possible. Divorces carry visitation agreements in most cases - so there's no reason to think that something similar can't be arranged.

Besides, nothing has been set in stone. Yet...

I know this has gone bad places in past posts, but 1 in 6 of every citizen of Mexico is now illegally in the US. Not even figuring in the legal ones. Sometimes people just have to slow down on wishful thinking and deal with the realities.
The Red blue political Map overlays the simplified Census ancestry analysis map of 2000 pretty darn close. Here is a copy. There is a more detailed map available but the quality is poor and the index hard to read.




The current Democratic government is in fact a racial coalition in part or perhaps predominantly. Without the Mexican vote the Republicans really don't stand much chance of regaining control, ever.
My observations aren't absolute, but the tendencies seem obvious. As long as the Republicans stay with exclusive, instead of inclusive policies, things aren't going to change much.

I won't be visiting this post again, so don't bother getting your knickers in a knot. I'm a Reagan republican and unlikely to change.

bigalpha said:

What's wrong with Subaru station wagons?

:dunno:

Click to expand...

x2
I love my XJ, but the wife's Forrester is a keeper as well.

scottmcneal said:

> You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

Click to expand...

He's probably just upset because some liberal hippie tree-hugger parked his Forrester next to Scotts XJ, and they look way too similar. :scared:

Re: California, they CAN NOT Have all of it, since the majority of these people live west of Interstate 5 now, thats what they get. i don't see why we should have to give up the majority of the prime wheeling area in the west. RubiCon, Mojave desert, Death Valley, Dinkey Creek area, swap Dusy-ershym

93gc40 said:

Re: California, they CAN NOT Have all of it, since the majority of these people live west of Interstate 5 now, thats what they get. i don't see why we should have to give up the majority of the prime wheeling area in the west. RubiCon, Mojave desert, Death Valley, Dinkey Creek area, swap Dusy-ershym

Click to expand...

You forgot the major...Johnson Valley

93gc40 said:

Re: California, they CAN NOT Have all of it, since the majority of these people live west of Interstate 5 now, thats what they get. i don't see why we should have to give up the majority of the prime wheeling area in the west. RubiCon, Mojave desert, Death Valley, Dinkey Creek area, swap Dusy-ershym

Click to expand...

Fine - whatever. Just once we get these people crammed into their own areas, they bloody stay there! We're already looking to unass the area anyhow (my wife is about as much a conservative libertarian as I am, and so are the kids,) so figure out what they can have, and we'll figure out where to go from there.

As I've said before, we're not going to "bring California with us." That's what is allowing the Yuppie mentality to infect the rest of the country to begin with - and I feel like an expat American as it is. I'm not going to bring any of this asininity with me when I finally do leave.