as for the sway bar, im at 4.5" lift and have driven with it connected and have driven without it connected. i can honestly say that i DO notice a difference with it disconnected. more sway and need to go much slower when cornering. i like the way the xj handles with it connected, much better steering and response.
after spending thousands of dollars on lift components, wheels, tires, bumpers/skids, gears...., i doesnt make sense to me not to spend $130 on disconnectes or $10 to extend them.
ive always looked at that if you get in an accident with a lifted jeep with a higher center of gravity, that the first thing that you will asked in court is whether you have a front swaybar.
accidents happen and just because you drive carefully, others do not.
the negative effect of not having the sway bar connected before i lifted my xj were even worse. even though the negative effects arent as bad with it lifted, there still enough to keep me connected.
i personally think some people think its cool not to run a sway bar. sorry, but thats how i feel. even with higher spring rates, a sway bar connected is safer than not connected.