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Texans in Heaven

BIgDaddyChia

RRC Organizer
Location
Round Rock, TX
Gabriel went to the Lord and said, "I have to talk to you. We have some Texans up here who are causing problems... They're swinging on the Pearly Gates, my horn is missing, and they are wearing T-shirts instead of their robes; there's barbecue sauce and picante sauce all over everything, especially their T-shirts; their dogs are riding in the chariots and chasing the sheep; they are wearing baseball caps and cowboy hats instead of their halos. They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clean, and their boots are marking and scuffing up the halls of Wisdom. There are watermelon seeds and tortilla chip crumbs all over the place. Some of them are walking around with just one wing; and they insist on bringing their horses with them." [SIZE=+0][/SIZE]
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[SIZE=+2]The Lord said, "Texans are Texans, Gabriel. Heaven is home to all of my children. If you want to know about real problems, call the Devil."[/SIZE][SIZE=+0] [/SIZE]
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[SIZE=+2]So Gabriel calls the Devil who answers the phone and says, "Hello---hold on a minute." When he returns to the phone the Devil says, " O.K., I'm back. What can I do for you? "[/SIZE][SIZE=+0] [/SIZE][SIZE=+0]

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[SIZE=+2]Gabriel replied, "I just want to know what kinds of problems you are having down there with the Texans." [/SIZE][SIZE=+0]
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[SIZE=+2]The Devil said, "Hold on again. I need to check on something." After about 5 minutes the Devil returned to the phone and said. "I'm back. Now what was the question?"[/SIZE][SIZE=+0] [/SIZE][SIZE=+0]
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[SIZE=+2]Gabriel said, "What kind of problems are you having down there with the Texans?"[/SIZE][SIZE=+0] [/SIZE]
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[SIZE=+2]The Devil said, "Man, I don't believe this...hold on." This time the Devil was gone 15 minutes and when he returns he says, "I'm sorry Gabriel, I can't talk right now. Those Texans have put out the fire and are trying to install air conditioning." [/SIZE][SIZE=+0]
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A large group of Taliban soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand dune:
"One Texas soldier is better than ten Taliban".

The Taliban commander quickly orders 10 of his best men over the dune whereupon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence.

The voice once again calls out: "One Texan is better than one hundred Taliban."

Furious, the Taliban commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gun fight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.

The Texan voice calls out again: "One Texan is better than one thousand Taliban."

The enraged Taliban commander musters 1000 fighters and sends them to the other side of the dune. Rifle fire, machine guns, grenades, rockets and cannon fire ring out as a terrible battle is fought.... Then silence.

Eventually one badly wounded Taliban fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander, Don't send any more men......it's a trap. There's two of them."
 
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