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Edgy humor..but politically correct!!!

S

scottmcneal

NAXJA Forum User
Location
not here
Snow in the forecast! The TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself "fat chance with a face like that!":D
 
Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away. But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best!
 
a pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his pants, and the bartender says "hey, do you realize there's a steering wheel sticking out of your pants?" to which the pirate says "yaarrrr, it's drivin' me nuts!"
 
Snow White said, "I've always dreamed of seven inches.....
.
.
.
.
.
.
just not one at a time."
 
Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best sex in town!" Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, "I just did your mom, and it was sw-e-et!" Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar. Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "Your mom liked it!"

Finally the guy interrupts. "Go home, Dad, you're drunk!"
 
I had a Trivia competition shot to pieces until the last question which I got wrong. The question was "Where do women have the curliest hair"??
The answer I should have given was " Fiji "
 
This one's for you Scott :D

Guy walks into a bar and yells, "All lawyers are A-holes" Man at the end of the bar says" I object to that remark". Guy says "Why, are you a lawyer?" Man says "No, I'm an A-hole"
 
Why does Ariel wear seashells??

ariel_seashell_bikini_5709.jpg




Because she can't fit D shells..
 
I got fired on my first day as a male masseuse today. Apparently the instruction 'finish off on her face' didn't mean what I thought it did :doh:
 
news from the "stupid people" true story - woman ran into back end of a truck going 50 mph (ex-husband in passenger seat steering car for her), she was trimming her bush on the way to meet her new boyfriend. always be prepared
 
A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!". So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard."
 
Wouldn't it suck to be an alcoholic with Alzheimer's? Imagine needing a drink and not knowing where to find it...

Q: How do you spot a blind man at a nudist colony?
A: It's not hard...

"Like a midget at a public urinal, I was going to have to keep on my toes..." -Frank Drebin, "The Naked Gun"
 
Haha mike, I like how all of yours start out with "....a guy walks into a bar"
 
Doc says to an old guy, "I'll need a urine sample, a stool sample and a semen sample."

Old guy says, "Huh?"

Doc says it again louder: "I'LL NEED A URINE SAMPLE, A STOOL SAMPLE AND A SEMEN SAMPLE!"

Old guy says, "HUH!?1?"

Old guys wife says, "Give the doc your shorts!"
 
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