Back to your brakes question:
I'm not sure why folks go to rear discs without upgrading the fronts. You should be keeping the proportions as same as stock (biased towards the front) which means you can't get more out of the rears unless and until you get more out of the fronts.
For the fronts, the WJ set seems like a great idea. I've been too lazy for that.
Black Magic pads are amazing. I got tons more performance out of stock XJ fronts compared to relatively nice new pads and rotors. I'd do that first and see what you think. If you want rear discs, you've already said no, but I'd put in an 8.8.
Regarding lockers: for what you are doing, I wouldn't hesitate to use a lunchbox or two. I've always found the best deals on Spartan lockers. Do know that with 4.10 (or more) gears in the D30, you'll need to pull the carrier and remove the ring gear to install it.
Finally, gears: I ran 4.10s and 33s. Now I have 4.88s and 35s, which is pretty similar to 4.56s with 33s. The highway RPMS aren't a problem. If you find 4.56s at a price you can work with, do it. But if you are on a budget, it REALLY sounds like an 8.8 with factory 4.10s might make you happy, and there are D30s floating around with factory 4.10s (off the four-cylinder models).
Paul