Is spanking child abuse?

[bigalpha]

Apparently it is. (http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/story?id=7861779&page=1)

I, personally, am all for it. If I ever have kids, they will be punished according to the infraction. Grounding, spanking, the occasional beating (no bruising, calm down) are all very valid forms of punishment, IMHO.

[Ghost]

People are too soft. That is what is wrong with todays youth.

[SBrad001]

Only if you enjoy it . . . .

[5-90]

The principal reason there's a big flap about this is because it's some damnfool "reality show" that everyone watches - and not only do they have TV cameras all around, but the paparazzi are all around as well (assault on a paparazzo should be perfectly legal, as far as I'm concerned. If someone shoves a camera in my face, they can expect to be shoved back good and hard. If they come back, they'll probably end up beaten with their own camera.)

When I was growing up, the rule was "once is discipline, twice is abuse." My grandfather and my mother only ever hit me once each that I can recall - and it was all that was needed (the less said about my old man, the better. He was mom's third, not my father, and not someone I want to waste a lot of mental clock cycles thinking about.)

I did not find it necessary to strike either of my wife's two boys. That doesn't mean they weren't punished - far from it! - but I found creative means to drive the lesson home. I verbally exploded at them about once each (which left them looking like I'd slapped them - I have that effect on people,) and then if they did something stupid I'd make them work it off.

They wouldn't stop wearing rollerblades in the house and marking up the kitchen floor; I got neutral shoe polish, cut up an old belt, and put them to work.

I found out they'd gone around "egging" with some buddies from school, I farmed them out to paint houses that summer. That June I think they painted something like ten houses (the owner bought the paint, the boys put in the elbow grease.)

Things like that. Granted, they were a bit older by then - but when they're older, you can get more creative with penalties and really drive the lesson home. Make them sore, instead of hurt, y'know?

[hiimmred]

My dad beat the crap out of me almost daily, he was also verbally abusive (he's an alchoholic). I'd take the beating over the belittling any day. Beatings only hurt for a while, whereas emotional abuse tends to last forever when inflicted on a child.

As a father of three, 2 now in their early 20's and a 15 year old, I feel fortunate to say I never had to even come close to raising a hand to any of them, let alone berate them.

Having said this, I think a spanking is warranted within reason, no closed fists, hitting anywhere other than the deriere or a slap of the hands. I have 6 scars around my eyes from stiches courtesy of punches to my face (thanks Dad!).

[5-90]

My dad beat the crap out of me almost daily, he was also verbally abusive (he's an alchoholic). I'd take the beating over the belittling any day. Beatings only hurt for a while, whereas emotional abuse tends to last forever when inflicted on a child.

As a father of three, 2 now in their early 20's and a 15 year old, I feel fortunate to say I never had to even come close to raising a hand to any of them, let alone berate them.

Having said this, I think a spanking is warranted within reason, no closed fists, hitting anywhere other than the deriere or a slap of the hands. I have 6 scars around my eyes from stiches courtesy of punches to my face (thanks Dad!).

I hear you - but my old man didn't have the excuse of being an alcoholic. He was just an arsehole.

He didn't like me because I was smarter than he was, better than he was at anything I cared to do - and he took it out on me (and I was apparently responsible for anything his two boys did - whether I was there or not.)

I did manage to put a stop to it all tho - I got my size early, and put him through a wall when I was fourteen. Then made him fix the wall.

The next time I caught him balling up a fist at my mum, I stood up. He backed down. I looked right at him and said, "You just remember that. I may not get you right away, but I will get you..."

Spanking is warranted - especially when the kids are too young to be put to work, and don't readily understand why what they did was wrong. Pain is an effective teacher, hardwired into us by thousands of years of evolution. But, as they get older, there are better ways to drive the point home than to hit them - and that's when parenting can really get fun...

(When her boys were 14 and 15, they decided they were ready to drink. So, I went out and bought four fifths. We sat down, and I matched both of them all night long, telling them if they could out-drink me, they were ready.

(I put them both to bed about three hours later, then made sure to get up about 0500 to make breakfast the following morning. Sausage, bacon, eggs - I'd planned ahead! The house smelled good, and at least they managed to get their heads out the windows before they lost it.

(Old age and treachery will always defeat youth and enthusiasm. They didn't touch a drop until they were eighteen or nineteen after that, and their hangover lasted a good 36 hours. I don't get hung over, so it worked out neatly.)

[bcmaxx]

I remember the 'ol "this is going to hurt me a lot more than it weill hurt you", just as he pulled his belt from his pants, goddam couldnt sit down after that for a while, I deserved it every time it happened though!!

[wolfpackjeeper]

I got spanked and turned out just fine. Spanking cannot be the only punishment though. I felt worse knowing that I had done wrong than I ever did from the spanking. The spanking was how I knew I had really screwed up.

I graduated HS in 2003, and I can still remember in Kindergarten and first grade we still had spanking as a punishment in school

[fscrig75]

I caught my share as much as anyone else. But when I look back on it now and think about how I acted and the chit I used to do, I deserved everything I got. I can't believe the restraint my parents showed. I'm not sure I could show the same restraint if I was my own child.

[D.I.T.A]

im only 18 but i think that a smack in the head is a good way to let the kid know when to stop. i still get hit in the head and as for arshole dads i haven't seen my real one since i was seven and my mom married some chump that i get into fights with constantly

[94xjstud]

To me it has to do with age, and force applied. As a child under 7ish there isn't really alot of force needed behind a spanking. A child will get the point whether a person leaves cuts and wealts to where only crying takes place (which is not hard to make them do). There should never be any brusing or welts, some redness is ok if it goes away in a reasonable matter of time (one hour). Anyone over a certain age should never be hit, but another way needs to be found as children are more conscious and reasonable (yes I know that a 8 yr old is that reasonable or mature) and have a higher tolerance of pain so more force would be needed.
There are alot of psychological problems that do arise very frequently from child abuse; also if a child is subject to abuse he has a far greater chance to abuse their children.

[WB9YZU]

Tough call. Not the article, but the subject.

Spanking is a tool, like a choke collar on a dog. Use it wrong, or excessively, and it's simply abuse. Abuse comes in many forms, physical, mental, spiritual.

-Ron

[XJEEPER]

I remember the 'ol "this is going to hurt me a lot more than it weill hurt you", just as he pulled his belt from his pants, goddam couldnt sit down after that for a while, I deserved it every time it happened though!!

Wouldn't want to be in Jon and Kate's situation.....not enough money to have cameras on your every action and have the world critque your every move.

I'll have to say I got spanked occasionally as a youth, don't recall any of those occasions where I didn't deserve it. Dad was more physical, usually with a open hand to the butt, occasionally a foot to the butt (I know he was holding back too) Mom was more verbal and somewhat of a nagger, but she could deliver the smackdown if needed.

My kids are 10 and 8 and I can't recall the last time I had to lay a hand on their butt......not that I have a problem with it, but we've found that teaching them about Choice and Accountibilty at a young age has spared the need to take things to the "physical" level very often. This has also taught them that the are accountable for their actions and will be held responsible.

They are obedient, well-behaved kids who, like any kids (or adults for that matter) get out of line occasionally, but they recognize that if they want good consequences for their actions, they must make good choices.

Sounds simple, right? Gotta train the parent first..... It's actually quite easy, if you start about 3 yrs old and don't let them develop a habit of pitching a fit or being distructive to get their desired outcome, then they quickly learn that there is NO reward for bad behavior.

A collateral benefit is that our kids come to us to talk about stuff that is going on in their life and we can help them work thru problems and issues together because there is an established level of trust and support, not a fear of punishment or belittlement. I didn't feel like I had this with my parents, which led me to make so life choices that I regret, but learned from also......would have been better to learn from OTHERS mistakes though.

I'm not perfect by any means, nor are my kids, but a definite improvement on my generation. I feel we have the responsibility as parents to pass on the good stuff, improve where we can and not pass on negative character traits that you learned from your parents.

[NW-ZJ-SCOTT]

Tough call. Not the article, but the subject.

Spanking is a tool, like a choke collar on a dog. Use it wrong, or excessively, and it's simply abuse. Abuse comes in many forms, physical, mental, spiritual.

-Ron
agreed. Sometimes spanking is a tool, a big tool. I dont use this tool often. but as a parent, i believe a swat on the butt, or a slap on the hand is needed to bring a child back in line.

now, if someone else wants to spank my children, i will gladly spank them back:shhh:

[bigalpha]

agreed. Sometimes spanking is a tool, a big tool. I dont use this tool often. but as a parent, i believe a swat on the butt, or a slap on the hand is needed to bring a child back in line.

now, if someone else wants to spank my children, i will gladly spank them back:shhh:

Dude, I hate my friends' parents smacking me around when I acted a real fool! haha

[Coastie]

As a young kid I never received much corporal punishment from my parents. Fast forward to my early teens and I was a douche, all ways getting in trouble, skipping school, running with a really bad crowd, drugs, no respect for my parents or any one really.

One day I was fighting with my dad and I went to push him out of my way so I could leave and he literally put me through my bed room wall into my little brothers room.

Best thing he ever did for me, better than all the advice and time we ever spent together. Physical punishment IMO is warranted during some cases.



Oh and I had to fix the wall :)

[13bullets]

I'll spare ya'll the psycho-babbling.

Spare the rod, spoil the child.

Spanking is discipline, not abuse. That said, it is no ones business but the parents of the child to spank. Not the schools, daycares, babysitters, NO ONE but the parents. It'll get real ugly real fast if one of my kids ever tells me someone other than my wife or I spanked them.

I also do not believe it to be the cure-all form of punishment. Some situations warrant it, some don't.

[xjtrailrider]

It depends on the kid, I can give my youngest a stern look and that will do it. My middle kid is more stubborn but hasn't had many spankings as he is a good kid, the oldest who is now 22, well he and I grew up together (I'm 42) and I was hard on him and i learned my lessons but we got through it. He is a real good kid and is turning into a fine young man with a bright future.

I coach youth football and baseball and I HATE, I mean HATE to hear coaches berate and belittle kids and I tolerate none of it on my field. Now if I have one that acts up then they get some, no a lot of extra PT and a long boring lecture. And if they are real ugly to the staff or a team mate then they sit a game, doesn't matter if they are the star or a pine rider.

Really it just depends on the kid. There is a line that can be crossed when it comes to physical discipline.

[WrenchMonkey]

Apparently it is. (http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/story?id=7861779&page=1)...

Mmm... I wish I was a sextuplet...


Wait, what were we talking about?

:o
Robert

[ColoradoRaptor]

I'll spare ya'll the psycho-babbling.

Spare the rod, spoil the child.

Spanking is discipline, not abuse. That said, it is no ones business but the parents of the child to spank. Not the schools, daycares, babysitters, NO ONE but the parents. It'll get real ugly real fast if one of my kids ever tells me someone other than my wife or I spanked them.

I also do not believe it to be the cure-all form of punishment. Some situations warrant it, some don't.

X2 There is a time and place for spanking and a good asswhoopin!! Some children/people just need to be PUT into place..... PERIOD!! Without these methods of dicipline the term respect loses it's value! I believe that a bloody nose has more educational value than an entire college education!!

[a1racer]

i don't think it is. as long as it is not so hard that it is hurting the child seriously

[a1racer]

oh and not in public. i got a 3 year old and he can be a hand full i hate to spank and when i have i am way to soft he just laugh's then my wife has to step in and spank him. i just dont have the nerve to hit him hard i just want his attention

[msrorysddad]

I got the stuffin whipped outta me, I deserved it. I have a daughter, and very rarely do I spank her. It's somethin that is done quickly, and with the idea of consequences for actions. Most of the time I have a private talk with the little monster, and explain Grace, and how not being punished for our actions is a sign of our love, as well as the fact that when I do punish her, it is out of love. When she realizes she messed up, she usually becomes contrite well before the punishment stage, the consequences are there, we all know how that works, those of us whom do not are not long for this world. Tellin a kid don't run in the street a car will run you over is pretty useless, the concept of being run over is foreign, a good pop on the rear is a concept easily recognized by even the youngest of us.