arb headlight harness question

I have the arb headlight harness with some ipf h4's(with fatboys) and am having an issue with not being able to turn off the hi beams after they are switched on. the only way I can turn them off is by turning the lights off then back on. I found that when the headlight switch is on(low beam) I have 6 volts at the relay and when the hi beams are turned on I have 12 volts. I know that I should not have 6 volts when the low beams are on. I think that that is not enough voltage to energize the relay but enough to not allow it to de-energize. anybody else have a this problem.

Yeah - I've had this same problem for the last two years but I haven't tried to diagnose as much as you have. If I remember it correctly this didn't happen when I first had the setup but something happened to make it this way. I never managed to get a hold of new relays which I thought might be the problem. It hasn't bothered me too much but I do wish I had the problem sorted out.

I'm getting ready to install an ARB harness tonight, and after reading the instructions, it appears that there is more than one way to hook it up. The instructions claim it is imperative to connect the two plugs between the first and third relay on all Toyota installs, or it could "Cause premature failure of components"? Did you guys connect those plugs? Can someone explain why there's three relays? and whats the extra plug for?