Adult Nursery Rhymes

[Lawn Cher']

> Mary had a little pig,
>
> She kept it fat and plastered;
>
> And when the price of pork went up,
>
> She shot the little bastard.
>
>
>
>
> Mary had a little lamb,
>
> Her father shot it dead.
>
> Now it goes to school with her,
>
> Between two chunks of bread.
>
>
>
>
> JACK and Jill went up the hill
>
> To have a little fun.
>
> Stupid Jill forgot the pill,
>
> And now they have a son.
>
>
>
>
> Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
>
> Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
>
> All the king's horses,
>
> And all the king's men,
>
> Had scrambled eggs,
>
> For breakfast again.
>
>
>
>
> HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle,
>
> All over the bedside clock.
>
> The little dog laughed to see such fun.
>
> Then died of electric shock.
>
>
>
>
> GEORGIE PORGY, Pudding and Pie,
>
> Kissed the girls and made them cry.
>
> And when the boys came out to play,
>
> He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.
>
>
>
>
> There was a little girl who had a little curl
>
> Right in the middle of her forehead.
>
> When she was good, she was very, very good.
>
> But when she was bad........
>
> She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.

[Geepfreak]

>Hicory Dickory Dock
>The @$^#& $@* @# my ^@$#

:D

[Lawn Cher']

There was an old lady who lived in a shoe; She had so many children, her uterus fell out. Ohhhhh

[Ramsey]

you suck

[Lawn Cher']

you suck

Did you hear the one about Ramsey and Gretel? They got lost in the woods because Ramsey ate all the bread crumbs as Gretel was dropping them. Then, when they found the witch's candy house, he ate that too. He got so big and fat that the search party was eventually able to see him from the air, and they came back with a Chinook to lift his fat ass out of there. Unfortunately, during that process they discovered that he had sat on Gretel and squashed her. :moon:

[Ramsey]

Not before I raped her.

[Lawn Cher']

Not before I raped her.

That isn't funny.

Incest is one thing if its concensual...

[Ramsey]

Whats taboo about Incest if she says its ok?

[Dirt]

Whats taboo about Incest if she says its ok?


Point.... Ramsey

[cherokee89]

> >
> GEORGIE PORGY, Pudding and Pie,
>
> Kissed the girls and made them cry.
>
> And when the boys came out to play,
>
> He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.
>



Now that is some funny Sh1t.

[LBEXJ]

Those are great Mark ... I've never heard those. These are old, and maybe everyone has heard them, but WTF:

Old Mother Hubbard
went to the cubbard
to get her poor dog a bone.
When she bent over,
Rover took over,
and she got a bone of her own.


Old Mother Hubbard
went to the cubbard
to get her poor dog some bread.
When she got there
the cubbard was bare,
so she got bred instead.


Old Mother Hubbard sure liked her dog ...

Les

[87manche]

Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet
A lightbulb was stuck up her ass.
It woke up the spider
Who lived deep inside her.
He said "Hey, free electric and gas."


The diceman OHHHHH

[Lawn Cher']

Another from the dice man:

Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey.

Along came a spider
Who sat down beside her
And said, "Hey bitch, what's in the bowl?"

[Dirt]

I've got a joke...








Knock knock.....

[Lawn Cher']

Who's there?

[Dirt]

Go f#ck yourself.




:laugh2: :laugh2: :laugh2: :laugh2: :laugh2:

[Lawn Cher']

That's freakin' awesome!:laugh2:

[POSXJGuy]

there once was a girl from new zealand

who had a particular feelin

she laid on her back and tickled her crack

and pissed all over the ceilin'

....

courtesy of my friend Mat from Tasmania.


does that count?

[Beej]

Little boy Blue,

He needed the money...

[olivedrabcj7]

There once was an old man named dave,
He kept a dead whore in his cave,
She was missing a tit, and smelled like shit,
But think of the money he saved.

[Ramsey]

Their once was a man from belgrave
who kept a dead whore in a cave
you have to admit she stinks just a bit
but look at the money i save



damn you

[seanR]

Of all the birds up in the sky,
I'd rather be a martin.
I'd fill my belly full of beans and bust my ass a fartin'.

Of all the animals there are to be,
I think I'd be a coon.
I'd climb up in the highest tree, and Jack off at the moon!

[Beej]

I do believe this nursery rhyme thread is heading to the Den...