It's amazing.

Life changes fast. I hadn't really thought about it until this weekend when it hit me rather hard.

February 19th I was still a teenager. The next day I was no longer, as I had turned 20. Yep I was an adult now. I felt like things were going pretty good. I had graduated highschool a few years ago, been slowly working on a degree at the local community college, earned my shop operator certification, professional mechanic certification, suspension technician certification, UBI and DT Swiss wheelbuilder certification, I had become the assistant manager at my shop, I'd traveled to a total of 11 countries, and visited all 50 states, in addition to finding the girl of my dreams whom I recently signed a lease with allowing me to move out of my parents watch for the first time ever.

Last week I got a raise at the shop and started talking to one of the companies we deal with about a sponsorship for '07. Things were really looking up.

Friday night/Saturday morning I was taken to hospital to have my inflamed and infected appendix removed. Granted we didn't know what it was that was causing my stomach pain at the time, we were just going to get things checked out. As I was laying in Pre-Op, they had to check to make sure that I was all set and ready to go. The nurse got a startled look on her face and nervously called for a doctor to come and see what she had found. I was starting to feel the effects of the morphine and other ingredients in my IV so I could do much about picking my head up to see what was going on and quickly passed out.

After my operation I woke up and a nurse came over and talked to me. They told me that prior to sending me into operation they found Melanoma, essentially the worst skin cancer you can get. I was shocked to hear it. I wasn't entirely sure that Melanoma was cancer or what Melanoma was at all, I just knew that it was bad. Arriving home and doing a quick searched confirmed that it is infact cancer. They aren't certain that they got all of it and think that there's a good chance that it will reappear within the next few years.
I was released from the hospital today which was nice, as I was getting a bit irritated sitting in a bed for a couple days straight. I was told that I can do no lifting for 2 weeks and no excercise other than walking for atleast a month. No lifting means that I can't work on bikes at the shop. Being that I'm one of the 2 mechanics that can do repairs and crank out a couple bikes, I'm kind of stuck. We are a small shop with only 5 employees, 2 of which are part time and the third spends most the day placing orders and doing paper work. That leaves me and another employee to do all repairs, and most sales(we are the top 2 sales persons and no one else gets close to the numbers we pull in, which is mostly due to being friendly, informative and absolutely no pressure). Now the shop is in a little strain as well, the weather is getting nice and people need thier bikes. A 2 day turn around is tough to keep with only 1 guy doing repairs. Theres not much for me to do that doesn't involve lifting something, even assemblies require lifting to fit into stands. Wrenching will put too much strain on my recent surgical acquisitions as well. Maybe I'll go into the shop and fiddle around for a bit and see if I can't find something to do until I can go back full swing.

That puts me in a rut. My first month's rent is due on the 10th, and I've become confused on whether I have to pay the $200 deposit fee for my cat or not. Of course my girlfriend can pay for the deposit I hate to ask her to, but not being able to work for a few weeks is going to put a little strain on my bank account. Thankfully I have some good family members who can help me out if it really gets close.

None of that will change that I can't ride my bike for atleast a month. Race season is starting and although Ski Bowl still has snow, I've been practicing on my local run and getting things pretty well wired with some new techniques and wrapping up my tire decisions. However, I'm supposed to test ride a new bike within the next week or two to find if it's going to work for me for this season. No chance at that. I may miss the entire season this year as my current ride isn't race ready.

I guess the main reason for me posting this is that I needed to vent a little bit, maybe some of you will slow it down a little and enjoy the small stuff. It seems odd to me that I would ever be saying that, and even more so to a group that is for the most part older than I am and I'm sure have had their fair share of scares in their life. I guess I'm the one who is really getting a lession etched into my head.

I appreciate the space for letting me do a little venting.

Thanks
-Kevin

vent to your hearts content(spelling?)
I wish you the best.
enjoy the small things in life.

Life can change VERY quickly!! Don't let the doctors diagnosis change your upbeat attitude of your life before the surgery. This is the time when that is most important.

I have learned that most of the time these things happen for the best no matter how bad they might seem at first.

Good luck, keep up the possitive attitude, and use the support from your close friends and family.

Michael

Thanks guys. I appreciate it. My mother brought me home yesterday and called up my grandparents, after she hung up she mention that my grandmother had said "God gave you appendicitis so that they would find the cancer." Thinking of it that way, I'm actually really happy that I went in. Afterall, the food was actually pretty good. :laugh:

I've decided to use some of my down time to create a couple of resume's to apply for some other sponsorships despite maybe having to miss this season. I think I can still get on board with the company that I had been talking to before. I'll try to get some help from a couple component comanies as well.

I'll be doing alot more research on my jeep build up. And I'll do some CAD drawings for my bumpers and roll cage.
That will give me something to do, that and shower. I haven't gotten to take one since Thursday night.

Anyway, I appreciate having a bit of space to vent out. I felt a little overwelmed the last couple days.

Thanks again.
-Kevin

In Late 2004 My only brother of 26 yrs old, Died of Brain Cancer. He was diagnosed in 2003. The doctors told him he had 4weeks to live, even after brain surgery. He lasted 1 1/2 yrs, and outstanding feet. So Yes I agree with Micheal, don't let the doctors get you down, they are only going off Book Smarts, each case is different.

Ah, and Keep the Cat

Good Luck... Hang in There... Live each day to the fullest with no regrets and you should be fine!

Good luck, Kevin. Don't despair; keep up a good attitude, and things will work out. And you're still young.

-----Matt-----

I had my mother take me over to my shop today for a few minutes. I just couldn't stand laying around any more. There are only so many books, magazines, movies and naps you can handle in one day, especially with my A.D.D. The guys at the shop were pleased to see me stop by and had alot of jokes to crack. It should be fun. I will be allowed to go and work half-days which will be nice, atleast I won't be left without a paycheck completely. However the 5lb lifting limit is going to be tough to get around.

While I was there a guy brought in a Titanium Airborne mtb with Chris King hubs/headset and Easton Carbon bars and seatpost. I had such a hard time keeping myself from picking it up to check its approximate weight. And further more doing a little test ride. We also do test rides to check for problems we can't see with our eyes or measure with our calipers and toolsor use past knowledge to diagnose(its not a joy ride type thing).

Theres going to be alot of dissapointments from my recent adventure, but I'm glad we caught onto everything now.

Good laugh:
I'm trying to keep my spirits up and things are looking up. All last week I had be talking about going to our local DH training spot. It would be a 9min course if it were to be used in a National race, the guys I ride with race semi-pro and put SkiBowl on hood down in 4min 40sec. Long course and all kinds of stunts. I love that spot.
Anyway, I had been talking all week about wanting to get out and do a couple shuttle runs to work on my turning techniques and to see if I had gotten my ramp up squared away. being a suspension tech, I can't leave well enough alone. Ripping my forks apart is just too tempting to make things better. We scheduled a ride for Sunday at 2:00. However, early Saturday morning is when I had my surgery so of course I didn't make it to work and all the guys knew what had happened. The doctors were pleased that I was recovering quick and were happy to send me on my way. I got home about 12:30 maybe 1pm on Sunday and made a call to my main riding buddy(whom I've got hooked on XJ's :yelclap. The call went like this:

Ryan: Hello?
Me: Ryan, whats going on?
Ryan: Kevin? How are you doing? We were getting worried about you.
Me: Yeah, I'm doing alright, they let me go home today.
Ryan: That's excellent.
Me: I agree, I hate laying around all day. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know I won't be able to go riding today.
Ryan: *huge burst of laughter* Dude, I didn't even expect you to be out of the hospital for a couple days. How long are you out for?
Me: I can't drive for about 2 weeks and no riding for atleast a month, it sucks, but saves me alot as I don't have to rush to get parts here anymore.

The conversation lasted a bit longer, and we cracked alot of jokes about riding and what not. It was nice. Today's been going good. I've just been working on trying to relax for the first time in a LONG LONG while. I have Insomnia, Anxiety and A.D.D. which often leaves me running on only 3 hours of sleep to function on each day and often worrying about things that I really shouldn't even be concerned about. Things are easy for me to blow out of proportion and I guess I've done the same here.
They caught the cancer and got it out. I know now that I need to go in regularly to be inspected for other potentially concerous moles and what not. I'm feeling good about everything now. Stress is low and everyone's been helpful in helping make accomodations. I have to say I'm thankful for everything thats happened and all who have helped, and for space to do my little venting and ranting, it's actually a really good way for me to clear up my thoughts.

Thanks guys.
-Kevin

A little post script and off topic. My co-worker, main riding buddy drives a '95 XJ and we've been talking about modifying his jeep with a lift, protection, recovery and gears, essentially the works. At the shop today he mentioned that he should be able to order a lift and a handful of parts soon to get his XJ going so that we can do a little bit of wheeling this summer. We are hoping to get together this week and go over all the things he wants and the not so obvious things that he'll need to stay safe avoid breaking down. I think July will be the month that I should be able to make a good push at getting my XJ up and running(non DD of course) as well as his too. :yelclap:

Post post script? Thanks again guys for the space to rant and rave and think out loud.