Actually, 4Hi and 4Full-Time can be engaged at speeds up to 55mph, but when in 4hi, you should not exceed 4hi (and if you're going that fast and need four wheel drive, you probably shouldn't be going that fast to begin with).
As for 4lo, it's best to engage rolling in neutral at 2mph. As far as rolling forwards or backwards, I dont think it really matters, but i've always done forwards. Sometimes you can get it in 4lo sitting still, it's just better for everything to do it rolling
As far as the full time option, I wouldn't give it up. I've got the 242 on my XJ and the 231 on my mom's KJ. About 3 years ago (our last snow storm) I remember we were out driving the KJ and the main roads were clear, but the side streets were still snow packed, and it got to be a pain having to shift in and out every time we turned onto or off of a main road. Where as, had I had my XJ at that time, I could just set it in 4full time and forget about it.
Next Jeep I get will definitely have the 242.