Joke of the day

[Roads]

A man at work has been trying to have sex with a female co-worker for a long time.
He would hint around but she would just ignore him.
One day he approaches her and says "I'll give you $100 for sex."
She says "no"
He says "I'll drop the $100 on the ground and as soon as you bend over to pick it up, I'll be done."
Then the woman calls her husband and tells him the situation.
The husband says "he won't even be able to get his pants down by then. Tell him to make it $200."
The husband waits by the phone.
5 minutes pass
10 minutes
20...
30...
45 minutes pass then the phone rings.
The husband says "what the hell took so long?"
She answers "the bastard used quarters".

[bshaw]

:laugh2: i liked it!

[5-90]

A camel is trying to figure out life - he's talking to his mother.

"Mom, why do we have broad, three-toed feet?"
"Son, that's so we can run through sand without sinking into it."

"Oh. Why do we have these hard, flat teeth?"
"That's so we can eat tough desert plants and cacti easily."

"Oh. So why do we have these humps on our back?"
"Well, we have those humps to store food and water, so we can cross the desert easily without needing either for a week or so."

"Oh."

Minutes pass...

"Mom, what the Hell are we doing in the London Zoo?"

5-90

[Ironmen77]

Subject: Whitehouse Fence
>> >
>> > Three contractors are bidding to fix the White House fence.
One
>> > from Chicago, another from Kentucky and the third, Florida. They
go

>> > with
> a
>> > White House official to examine the fence.
>> >
>> > The Florida contractor takes out a tape measure and does some
>> > measuring,
>> > then works some figures with a pencil.
>> >
>> > "Well," he says. "I figure the job will run about $900: $400
for
>> > materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
>> >
>> > The Kentucky contractor also does some measuring and
figuring,
> then
>> > says, "I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my
crew
>> > and
>> > $100 profit for me."
>> >
>> > The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans
over
> to
>> > the White House official and whispers: "$2,700."
>> >
>> > The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure
like
>> > the
>> > other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"
>> >
>> > "Easy," the Chicagoan explains, "$1,000 for you, $1,000 for
me
>> > and
>> > we hire the guy from Kentucky."
>> >

[Bent]

If

>>>>>>>>>gonna

>>

>

>>>>>>>>>>>cut &
>paste

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>,

>clean
>>>>it

>>

>>>>>

>>>>>>>>>>>

>up
>>>>>>>>>
>
>>>>>first
>>>>>>>>.

>
>
>>>>>>
>>>>>

>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>>
>>>> :D

[Ironmen77]

otay

[Ironmen77]

http://i4.tinypic.com/10n6zj8.jpg