i second ramsey here, keep it under 5", lots to mod if you don't, and you will have to invest big $$$$$ to go over 5". start small and work your way up.... i'm runnin 31's on 5 1/2, and didn't have to make huge changes. But, I read and research for months before I bought my rig, and that's after having been around jeeps since i was a kid. btw, you get 1" of extra ground clearance between 31's and 33's, 2" of ground clearance between 31's and 35's, so the question is what are you REALLY going to do with your jeep, MOST of the time..... i'd start with 31's a 3 -1/2" lift and go from there.
i really think all you need to do is slow down a little, read this forum, search, ask if you don't understand, make sure you get a good base jeep to start working up from, i.e., know your axles, drivetrain, engine, blah blah blah... it won't do any good to get a clean jeep with d35 rear end... narrow your search on your next XJ to have the right parts to build up, so you don't have to waste money replacing parts that are too weak. Go on some trail rides with your local jeepers, and get some hands on experience. ask your local 4x4 shops what works and what doesn't.... they know from experience, bcuz they're always fixing the junk that doesn't work right.
p.s. try to keep all your ?'s organized to a few posts.... it'll help everyone here help you....