girlfriend is jealous of the jeep.......

[olivedrabcj7]

well heres the story behind it. then you guys can post up your opinions on the situation.

my girlfriend and i are from the same hometown, both in college, but across the state from each other (5 hours). we see each other one or two times a month when we go home or one of us makes the journey to see the other one. weve ben dating for a little under a year now. ANYWHO...ive had this upcoming weekend planned for a while to be a "wrenchfest" and nothing more. im gonna put a 6.5" lift, SYE and drivshaft, gears, tires, and wheels on my xj. ive got all my parts in, my buddy took off work on saturday so he could help, and the garage space cleared out. its probably going to take us every bit of the weekend to do. i plan on working late on friday night and saturday night to finish the build by sunday. i have to come back to school on sunday afternoon.

my girlfriend calls me a little while ago and says she wants to come home so she can see me and we can hang out. well thats where the jealousy begins.

i told her about my plans for the weekend and she got pretty pissed when i told her i wasnt gonna have time to court her around all weekend. i told her it was a really bad weekend as far as timing goes. i also told her shes welcome to come home, but if she wants to see me, she can find me in my garage slathered in dirt and grease.

then she blew up about how i spend more money and time on the jeep and blah blah blah.....i said im sorry.... and she hung up on me.........

any ideas??

[Fergie]

Pick one or the other.

There are always more Jeeps, and always more girls...figure out which is more important.

Fergie

[olivedrabcj7]

Pick one or the other.

There are always more Jeeps, and always more girls...figure out which is more important.

Fergie

so its not possible to keep a jeep and a girl at the same time? or is there ways to work the situation to where i can keep both???

i know some of you guys have had this argument with your better halves before.....how did you handle it?

[ChuckD]

Stick with the Jeep. She'll either come around or you'll find a better one. This is a battle that needs to be won now before it's too late.

[beav350]

Man, I've got the opposite. My girl (who left me last night, we'll see what happens w/ that) would be pissed if she couldn't help & learn by example. Some girls are just that: girls. Some have a little bit of dude in them. If you were polite in your final exchange then that's her problem. Owning a mod-ed Jeep is so much like a relationship, it's all give & take & the attention/neglect you give. Call her back, try to explain again & if she's still mad, let it rest for a bit & see what happens. If she can't see your side, then that mindset may spill over into your non-Jeep related activities/interests, right? Is she worth it? Hopefully so, & she'll understand & you'll be putting a big 'ol greasy handprint on her back when you hug her again. Just the thoughts of another Jeeper w/ female issues....

[TRNDRVR]

Lets see, the first word that comes to mind is..........

NEXT!!!!!!!!
Time for a new woman.

[Fergie]

so its not possible to keep a jeep and a girl at the same time? or is there ways to work the situation to where i can keep both???

i know some of you guys have had this argument with your better halves before.....how did you handle it?

Its possible, very possible, you just need a reasonable girl.

My experience was this:

My wife worked Fri and Sat nights, so that is when I spent time working on the jeep. I'd bring her dinner at work, and then get to the Jeep. All the other days were ours to spend time together.

Now, we get so little time together, that the Jeep is second when it comes to anything.

I wouldnt fret too much. Things work out in the end.

Fergie

[XJEEPER]

Is she the type that assumes that all your free time/money will be spent with/on her? Is this an isolated incident or a common occurance?

A well rounded relationship will support give and take from both sides, if that's not what you have and is what you want, lay the cards on the table asap, in the form of a non-accusing discussion so that proper expectations are set.

[ChuckD]

Well as far as the better half and I. We both have hobbies, her's is Scrapbooking and mine is my XJ. I give her her space and time and sometimes I get time for my Jeep. The key is to make them think they are getting more that you are actually giving.

Like after this blows over, make up a story that your buddies want to go wheeling and this is The Run Of The Century, but you decided that she is more important and you need to spend the weekend with her. Then the next time a real run comes up, she might remember that sacrifice you made for her, she might feel guilty and let you have your Jeep time.

[olivedrabcj7]

Man, I've got the opposite. My girl (who left me last night, we'll see what happens w/ that) would be pissed if she couldn't help & learn by example. Some girls are just that: girls. Some have a little bit of dude in them. If you were polite in your final exchange then that's her problem. Owning a mod-ed Jeep is so much like a relationship, it's all give & take & the attention/neglect you give. Call her back, try to explain again & if she's still mad, let it rest for a bit & see what happens. If she can't see your side, then that mindset may spill over into your non-Jeep related activities/interests, right? Is she worth it? Hopefully so, & she'll understand & you'll be putting a big 'ol greasy handprint on her back when you hug her again. Just the thoughts of another Jeeper w/ female issues....

sorry to hear bout the girl issues man. good advice though. i think ill give her a call here in a sec. and see how it goes. this is the first real issue weve had in the entire 10 months. shes an awesome girl....i think she will come around. ill call her though and see what i can do.

[Lawn Cher']

I'd prefer not to touch this with a 10' pole, but I'll give you one word: Compromise.

It still comes up as an issue between my wife and I. I got heavily into the wrenching for about a year before we got married and the first year of our marriage. Then I had to pack it all up to move and haven't done a whole lot since. I've noticed she is much less jealous lately since I haven't been spending every waking moment of free time in the garage. What I try to do now is set a deadline to make a particular event, and tell her about it. I'll communicate that I have this much work to get done in a certain time frame and that once it is done I'll be available for more quality time.

I think in your particular situation she may have had it set in her mind that you would be at her beck and call, and was sorely disappointed when you told her otherwise. You should talk it over with her, explain how important your Jeep is to you but that it in no way compares with her, and that you'd be even more elated if you could include her in your hobby. Next time tell her when you will be doing your big wrenchfest and let her plan around it accordingly so that she doesn't get her hopes up.

Good luck.

[DrMoab]

When I first realized that it might be serious with my wife I told her flat out.
"I will give you anything,do anything for you whatever but don't ever ever try and take my jeeps away from me." This meant time working on them and what not too. Its been six years and so far no problems. You just need to set your priorities straight first. If you really want to spend time working on your jeep and she can't understand that then she isn't the right girl for you.

[olivedrabcj7]

Well as far as the better half and I. We both have hobbies, her's is Scrapbooking and mine is my XJ. I give her her space and time and sometimes I get time for my Jeep. The key is to make them think they are getting more that you are actually giving.

Like after this blows over, make up a story that your buddies want to go wheeling and this is The Run Of The Century, but you decided that she is more important and you need to spend the weekend with her. Then the next time a real run comes up, she might remember that sacrifice you made for her, she might feel guilty and let you have your Jeep time.

lol...my luck, she would insist that i go on the ride.....then since there is no ride.....i have to make up more stories about the ride i didnt go on. then next time a real ride comes around i wanna go on, she will remember the last one i "went on" and make me take her shopping.

[Lawn Cher']

lol...my luck, she would insist that i go on the ride.....then since there is no ride.....i have to make up more stories about the ride i didnt go on. then next time a real ride comes around i wanna go on, she will remember the last one i "went on" and make me take her shopping.

If you lie, you WILL get caught. Honesty is the best policy for a trusting relationship. TRUST is key!

[Fergie]

Trust and communication...never let things stew. Hash it out as soon as possible.

Fergie

[olivedrabcj7]

im on the phone with her now. shes totally understanding. i guess this means i owe her some "cuddle time" as she calls it....oh well....im glad shes understanding and isnt upset. great advice guys. glad im not alone here!! :)

[beav350]

You owe each other a massage. Sometimes we all temporarily freakout then change our minds & backpedal! Glad for you too.

[XJJPR]

Dump
























































her!


hinkley

[nuttinbuttmudd]

compromise














hand her a wrench P

[ROBZ95Xj]

compromise





hand her a wrench P
I agree 100%

[RichP]

compromise

hand her a wrench P

Yup, I agree, you can always go for pizza and beer or whatever later on when you NEED to walk away for a few minutes. It will make her feel apart of the whole thing, the only worrying issue will be when she shows up with her own Jeep.
:laugh3:

[wescam]

normally there are other issues that have chicks upset, and the time with the jeep in this case has allowed her to unload on you.... if this one is a keeper, then you need to work it out on your own. it's probably the distance thing loading her up and she's letting it go over the jeep.

i had the same problem with the wife (now ex-wife) and the harley-davidson.

the bike wasn't really the issue, but it was something she felt ok lashing out at, but when I sold the bike (ouch) she moved to something else -- etc.

just my $.02

oh, never get married

just my $.03

[olivedrabcj7]

we got it all worked out. i told her shes welcome to throw on some old clothes and come over and get greasy. she said she wouldnt have a clue what shes doing. shes a very prissy type girl. if she has a cat hair on her shirt, she will change clothes. shes not likely to climb under there with me.....she said its no big deal. a couple more weeks and we will both be home all summer. its all good.

we got a fridge in the garage were gonna load up with beer and well probably have some pizza delivered.

for some reason all my friends end up showing up at my house when were wrenchin, but its usually 2 of us working and 13 of them standing around. but my policy is if you help wrench, you get beer.

ill be sure to take lots of pics and post them up next monday!

[Roxtar]

im gonna put a 6.5" lift, SYE and drivshaft, gears, tires, and wheels on my xj. ive got all my parts in, my buddy took off work on saturday so he could help, and the garage space cleared out. its probably going to take us every bit of the weekend to do. No probablies about it. You'll be lucky to finish in one weekend
my girlfriend calls me a little while ago and says she wants to come home so she can see me and we can hang out. well thats where the jealousy begins.

i told her about my plans for the weekend and she got pretty pissed when i told her i wasnt gonna have time to court her around all weekend. i told her it was a really bad weekend as far as timing goes. i also told her shes welcome to come home, but if she wants to see me, she can find me in my garage slathered in dirt and grease.

then she blew up about how i spend more money and time on the jeep and blah blah blah.....i said im sorry.... and she hung up on me.........

any ideas??One word:
RUN
Quickly
Seriously.

[Roxtar]

shes a very prissy type girl. if she has a cat hair on her shirt, she will change clothes. See the reply above.

[jeepguy97]

Have her come over. If she gets mad at your grease covered self, simply say: Woman, go make me a pie.

[olivedrabcj7]

thing is....shes always rolling about 3 deep with friends....so that means if she brings her friends over, all the guys crawl out from under the jeep and go hit on her friends leaving me alone under there.

[Lawn Cher']

Sounds like a party to me!

[olivedrabcj7]

yep!! anybody near hot springs arkansas, feel free to come over and give us a hand. free beer to the helpers. :)

[PhunkXJ]

so its not possible to keep a jeep and a girl at the same time?

It's totally possible. You just need to find the right chick, one who A.) digs the jeep thing or B.) is willing to comprimise.

[Citat3962]

how did you handle it?

I just replaced her with a younger model... You know.. once they get some hard wheelin miles on them they start getting cranky... time to trade in..

The difference between the '81 and the '85 model is astounding! Lighter.. sleeker... amazing how much quieter the cabin is!

:D

Seriously though... my last girlfriend was a terror about wanting whatever spare time I had. If she wasn't given the first option of being the focus of my spare time I was in for a fight through the entire process of me working on the car or playing computer games or whatever...

After that one there is no way quicker for a woman to get herself dumped than to make it so I can't enjoy my hobbies in peace...

IMO Ms. Right would have thrown on some grubbies and grabbed a 12 pack and got down and dirty...

In fact my Lady does help pretty regularly... and since she's into making wierd modern art, she gets jealous everytime I go to the junkyard without her!

[BIG-G]

Lets see, the first word that comes to mind is..........

NEXT!!!!!!!!
Time for a new woman.

X 2 !!!!!!! Put the lift on and go pick up another girl !! (maybe one thats closer so u get laid more)

[Tom R.]

shes a very prissy type girl. if she has a cat hair on her shirt, she will change clothes.

See the reply above.
Amen to that!

I would heed XJEEPER's and Dr Moab's good advice, at least if you're considering any long term plans with this girl.

[olivedrabcj7]

Amen to that!

I would heed XJEEPER's and Dr Moab's good advice, at least if you're considering any long term plans with this girl.

well shes cool with it and decided not to come home this weekend. i told her if she did she could come over and fetch tools and stuff and help out if she wanted but for the most part its gonna be me and the guys, wrenchin in my garage all weekend. and shes cool with that now. i think shes starting to understand how much this stuff means to me. she doesnt have any hobbies really so theres nothing to relate it to for her. she did tell me if i built her a PINK jeep shed "wheel the heck out of it".....maybe thats a good sign.

[Creighton]

I had the same issue with my old car. Basically you need to figure out if she's using it as an excuse just to be mad or she really is jealous. Comprimise... tell her that because you had this planned you will take a weekend and go visit her the next chance you get. But don't not go out there more than 2 weekends... if you wait and put it off for like a month she'll be looking for frat guys. (and its just cuse she's young. you got your whole life to worry about that bs)

[olivedrabcj7]

I had the same issue with my old car. Basically you need to figure out if she's using it as an excuse just to be mad or she really is jealous. Comprimise... tell her that because you had this planned you will take a weekend and go visit her the next chance you get. But don't not go out there more than 2 weekends... if you wait and put it off for like a month she'll be looking for frat guys.

i am a frat guy. shes not a partier. she hangs out with her friends on the weekends and we talk on the phone every night. i dont think theres much to worry bout in that dept.

[Silverstreak01]

my X girlfreind was all about the pink jeep craze....show her this one.. is under "ROCK RODS" then arrow down and click on bootylicious

http://www.poisonspydercustoms.com/index2.php

if you go to the she rocks motorsports page you could probably get her something girly yet cool.

good luck with that.. haha later

keith h

[olivedrabcj7]

http://www.poisonspydercustoms.com/buggies/7336_lg.jpg

[Lawn Cher']

i am a frat guy.

This you?

http://a1259.g.akamai.net/f/1259/5586/1d/images.art.com/images/PRODUCTS/large/10112000/10112414.jpg

[Silverstreak01]

OLIVDRAB has she seen that one yet

[Creighton]

i am a frat guy. shes not a partier. she hangs out with her friends on the weekends and we talk on the phone every night. i dont think theres much to worry bout in that dept.

My point made. You are a frat guy, so its not a far jump to another. =]

So don't leave her hanging long, tell her you are sorry and have previous arrangements with a friend to work on your jeep. She'll huff and puff but then promptly (2 or 3 weekends) go visit her for that time and show her the fruits of your labor. If that dont work then screw it. =]


p.s. i hope you don't wear berkinstocks and kahki shorts w/ a popp'd collar.


(no harm, just yanking your chain man.)

[olivedrabcj7]

My point made. You are a frat guy, so its not a far jump to another. =]

So don't leave her hanging long, tell her you are sorry and have previous arrangements with a friend to work on your jeep. She'll huff and puff but then promptly (2 or 3 weekends) go visit her for that time and show her the fruits of your labor. If that dont work then screw it. =]


p.s. i hope you don't wear berkinstocks and kahki shorts w/ a popp'd collar.


(no harm, just yanking your chain man.)
i do have a pair of birkenstocks and i have multiple khaki shorts, only because it gets hot as an MF'er around here in the summer. however the popped collar make me want to punch people in the face. i cant STAND it when those flamers wear their collars turned up......they have no idea how gay they look. seriously.

[red91]

well heres the story behind it. then you guys can post up your opinions on the situation.

my girlfriend calls me a little while ago and says she wants to come home so she can see me and we can hang out. well thats where the jealousy begins.

i told her about my plans for the weekend and she got pretty pissed when i told her i wasnt gonna have time to court her around all weekend.
then she blew up about how i spend more money and time on the jeep and blah blah blah.....i said im sorry.... and she hung up on me.........

any ideas??

She needs SOME. Plain and simple. Tell her you'll get to HER needs while your all greasy and sweaty.

Saying your sorry only lends credence to her point of view. If she really cares she'll let it go. YOU should be able to have a life too.

[jeepguy97]

She needs SOME. Plain and simple. Tell her you'll get to HER needs while your all greasy and sweaty.

Saying your sorry only lends credence to her point of view. If she really cares she'll let it go. YOU should be able to have a life too.

10-4. Sexual tension. Put it to her and she will turn right around.

[Lawn Cher']

i cant STAND it when those flamers wear their collars turned up......they have no idea how gay they look. seriously.

I think they call it metrosexual these days... lame excuse if you ask me. lastara

[Citat3962]

Between the popped collar and the EMO haircuts..

Wow I'm glad I skipped college and went straight for the big leagues..

The only thing I think I'm missing out on is serority girls.

[olivedrabcj7]

sorority girls are shallow closed minded biatches most of the time. not missing out on much.

[Citat3962]

Yeah... good call..

I'm happy with my Freshman chick..

Theres something to be said about having "one up" on your partner..

coming from the last one where she definately wore the pants... never again..

If I'm not in control to a certain degree it's time to find a new chew toy...

oops.. did I say that?

[FitchVA]

when you return and post pics of the weekend's projects, you need to give us an update on how she REALLY acted.

it's been my experience that gals sometimes like to set up an ambush and spring crap like a bad reaction at the last and worst moment. best of luck to ya bud.

[red91]

when you return and post pics of the weekend's projects, you need to give us an update on how she REALLY acted.

it's been my experience that gals sometimes like to set up an ambush and spring crap like a bad reaction at the last and worst moment. best of luck to ya bud.

agreed. Not only that but when SHE wants some time with the GIRLS I bet if you threw the FIT it would go nowhere.

[olivedrabcj7]

if she wants time with the girls that means its guys night out. bring it on.

[Lawn Cher']

if she wants time with the girls that means its guys night out. bring it on.

Already whipped at your age... sigh... I was/am too.

[red91]

if she wants time with the girls that means its guys night out. bring it on.

you've fell into the trap....If its GUY'S afternoon wrenching day then she has a problem with it ? Hypocracy !!

[olivedrabcj7]

yeah ive been in this trap. its actually not so bad. i put up wiith some BS every now and then and get poon all i want. :) we're just gonna have to do some working on establishing time apart. time when i can work on my jeep and she can go shopping. instead of dragging me to the mall with her when all i want is to be laying under the jeep slathered in dirt and grease. i think its gotten to the point in the relationship where we dont have to be hand in hand every second were together (or apart). i think if she wants to go shopping, she should get some friends and go....and if i want to go wrenchin or wheeling, i should be able to load up the cooler and do so. its gonna take some getting used to on her part, but i think its a good thing.

[red91]

yeah ive been in this trap. its actually not so bad. i put up wiith some BS every now and then and get poon all i want. :) we're just gonna have to do some working on establishing time apart. time when i can work on my jeep and she can go shopping. instead of dragging me to the mall with her when all i want is to be laying under the jeep slathered in dirt and grease. i think its gotten to the point in the relationship where we dont have to be hand in hand every second were together (or apart). i think if she wants to go shopping, she should get some friends and go....and if i want to go wrenchin or wheeling, i should be able to load up the cooler and do so. its gonna take some getting used to on her part, but i think its a good thing.


SOUNDS like she needs to learn to get used to it. Establish this point with her, and you'll be far, far ahead in the long run.

TRUST ME. Didn't marry until 31, been married 8 years. Damn hard to find an agreeable woman.

[olivedrabcj7]

yeah shes definitely a keeper. she buys auto parts for valentines day and her dad idolizes me. she can cook almost anything you can imagine, and her friends and my friends get along excellent. i think im really lucky to have this one and dont plan on lettin her get away.....unless she has a REAL problem with the jeep. but it sounds like to me this is an isolated incident. she has never really complained about the jeep in the past. maybe she just needed to vent.

im not marrying until after college. i wanna have a stable job squared away and get my life under control before i even think about thinking about supporting a family.

[Lawn Cher']

all i want is to be laying under the jeep slathered in dirt and grease

Kinky!


im not marrying until after college. i wanna have a stable job squared away and get my life under control before i even think about thinking about supporting a family.

Seriously though, that's a smart plan. It's the recipe I followed and I think I'm doing very well.

BTW, my wife only recently realized that she can do things on her own without dragging me everywhere, and we've been together for 8 years, married almost 3 of them. It may take awhile. May the force be with you, Jedi.