First of all - Welcome Home! I'll bet you're glad to be back.
Now, I think you're talking about the join at the end of the header, where it bolts up to the pipe going to the catalytic converter, am I right? You can service that join yourself quite easily, moreso since you've done the "PB Blaster" thing. Just go get a couple 3/8" UNC brass machine nuts before you get started, and be ready to throw away the steel ones. Why brass? You'll be able to take it apart later without spending a week preparing (trust me - I've been using brass on exhaust hardware for a number of years, and it's always done well for me...)
If memory serves, a gasket there is not strictly necessary. In fact, none of my three XJ's (87, 88, and 89) have it - it's just a "ball and flange" joint that seals on the metal surfaces. Each time I think I've sprung an exhaust leak, it was quickly remedied simply by tightening the nuts - so check that first.
It is also fairly common for the manifold bolts to work loose over time (steel + heat/cool cycles = gradual loss of temper, dissimilar metals being clamped + heat = bending loads, and the bolts literally "unscrew" over time.) It may also be prudent to check torque on all your manifold bolts and see that they're still tight, and if it hasn't been leaking too long you can do the job without tearing it all to bits. If the gasket is shot, order a batch of silicon bronze bolts from Fastenal (if memory serves, you'll want a batch of 3/8"-16x1.25" hex heads) and use those to reinstall.
Why do I suggest brass? Two main reasons:
1) Brass is "springier" than steel - that's the same reason it works so well for ammunition cartridges. Brass won't have as much trouble with the bending loads and expanding aluminum intake manifold as steel eventually will.
2) Unlike steel, brass actually gets slightly harder with heating/cooling cycles. Since we're not going to "red heat," it's not going to be a critical point, but the steel will eventually loosen because you are annealing it each time you run the engine. Annealing will reduce the hardness of the metal - which reduces its tensile (pulling) strength over time. It's the merest fraction of a percentage point, but the effects are acumulative over time. Even as the brass hardens, the inherent "springiness" of the metal will compensate for the gradually increasing hardness. It is not unreasonable to expect a service life of 20-30 years from brass exhaust hardware.
Oh - and use LocTite #272 to retain your exhaust fasteners - NOTHING ELSE. 272 is designed for exhaust heat, and most better supply houses will have it or can get it for you.
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