starter issues

I have a 2000 XJ, at first it wouldn't even try to crank with the key is "start" position. After a few days it started right up like nothing was wrong, but it sounded like the bendix was still engaged to the flywheel. I drove it home and ended up smoking the starter. I got a new starter and threw her in, did all the connections and then I connected the ground wire to the bat. terminal and the starter started to turn over (keys were still in my pocket). Well after doing some looking online, I saw a thread where someone had the same problem with the starter turning over when the neg. bat. cable was attached. But now, it's back to stage 1, the starter won't even turn over. I put the key in and put it in "start" and I don't hear the bendix making contact. I have no clue what the problem could be. I called Advance Auto, they told me it's an ignition/starter solenoid. Got it and put it in, didn't help. Anyone have any solutions?

Just a shot in the dark....Have you looked at the neutral saftey switch yet?

I looked at the NSS already, it's not that.