HELP! I Need ideas...

[DrMoab]

On fun interesting and especially painful ways to Dispatch a rooster.
http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g265/DrMoab/Funnies/IMGP37511020x765.jpg

[Clint]

Can I come over for dinner tonight? :)

Poor kid..

[stewie]

looks like a vicious animal to me. attacking a kid like that. ill be over there within 20 minutes with a shotgun if you like. give me a call.

edit. my sadistic side is showing
or catch it and start cutting parts off in 1" increments from the bottom up. (i got a knife you can borrow for it)

or catch it and tie a string arround its legs and via the rope hit the bird against things.

drag behind a car.

strangle

drown

bind and let starve

stake to middle of yard and let dogs attack it

drop it out of the back of a truck on the I15

break legs/wings and chase

cause internal bleeding

if you need more, give me 5 minutes.

[slider]

oh dude i could soooo help with this little problem.

[DrMoab]

looks like a vicious animal to me. attacking a kid like that. ill be over there within 20 minutes with a shotgun if you like. give me a call.
Well...I think my dad might have dispatched him last night. I haven't been over there this morning to see.

Do chickens have Gonads? I was thinking 220 Volts from the garage would be good.

[slider]

that's kinda ironic because when we were down there your mom was worried that was going to happen. your dad just didn't get to the rooster in time.

[Clint]

Blah just get the axe. I'll be over with some oil. KFC?

[stewie]

“attach” to a firecracker/firework

freeze alive

burn alive

gouge the eyes out like it nearly did to TJ and let the bird live blind, or dispatch it anyways afterwards

“mount” to engine compartment and go wheeling- whats that smell?

I like the douse with charcoal fluid and light method

Mount behind tire chains and drive

Blowtorch

Impalement x 100

[stewie]

need more ideas?

[slider]

geeeeese stewie!! calm down!!:D

[stewie]

My Favorites



my sadistic side is showing

or catch it and start cutting parts off in 1" increments from the bottom up. (i got a knife you can borrow for it)

stake to middle of yard and let dogs attack it

break legs/wings and chase

cause internal bleeding

“attach” to a firecracker/firework

burn alive

gouge the eyes out like it nearly did to TJ and let the bird live blind, or dispatch it anyways afterwards

I like the douse with charcoal fluid and light method

Mount behind tire chains and drive

Blowtorch

Impalement x 100


geeeeese stewie!! calm down!!:D

hey, im just saying what i would think of doing to exact revenge had it been a member of my family.

fawk with me all you want, but i get pissed when you fawk with family type mentality.

[Clint]

geeeeese stewie!! calm down!!:D


Ya.. your gonna ruin the meat!

[stewie]

Well...I think my dad might have dispatched him last night. I haven't been over there this morning to see.

Do chickens have Gonads? I was thinking 220 Volts from the garage would be good.

well, call and ask.

i would start at 12V just for the pain measure. then up it (jumper cables off the truck-whats diesles voltage?) then 110 v finally finish him off with 220V

[slider]

i actually agree with all of them. Keep up the good work.

[ROOK1]

geeeeese stewie!! calm down!!:D

Go easy on Stewie. He is military and that is the way they are trained.

[stewie]

there. i temporaily changed my avitar to reflect current mood.

for those viewing after i change it back,

http://img528.imageshack.us/img528/7815/firestewiefw7.jpg

[Gerr]

Id get a nice big pot of water boiling tie the bird to a stick nice and streached out and boil it a inch at a time till he dies or even better yet boil his feet then stick him to a block of ice and rip the flesh off

[stewie]

NICE!! i likey

[Beej]

You guys are sick...


Sure I feel bad for the little fella, but the rooster was just doing his job defending his territory. I bet the little guy learned a valuable lesson about roosters. Kinda like the one I learned about Canada Geese when I was five. They can peck hard enough to break your ankle if you get too close.

Kill it if you must, but do it quick and enjoy his meat...

[DrMoab]

You guys are sick...


Sure I feel bad for the little fella, but the rooster was just doing his job defending his territory. I bet the little guy learned a valuable lesson about roosters. Kinda like the one I learned about Canada Geese when I was five. They can peck hard enough to break your ankle if you get too close.

Kill it if you must, but do it quick and enjoy his meat...
LOL...I was just in chat saying..."I wonder who the first weenie will be who comes in and says Oh don't kill the poor bird"

Ding ding ding we have a winner. :D

Canadians are weird.

[Beej]

LOL...I was just in chat saying..."I wonder who the first weenie will be who comes in and says Oh don't kill the poor bird"

Ding ding ding we have a winner. :D

Canadians are weird. Fine.

Stick a shotgun up its penis-hole and blow it into confetti...

Better?

:D

[stewie]

yes, much better

[DrMoab]

Fine.

Stick a shotgun up its penis-hole and blow it into confetti...

Better?

:D
My respect level for you has gone from a :03of5: to a :04of5:

[Ben H]

Rooster meet Mr. Machete. Mr. Machete meet rooster.

Now is a good time to see if a chicken really does run with its head cut off!

Lucky your boy didn't lose and eye.

I had a mean ass rooster that just ran around the ranch attacking dogs and people. Then one day I was out checking fences with this Vaquero Arturo. He opened a piece of tin foil that was tightly wrapped, and handed me a chicken breast. As I bit into it I thought to myself "Arturo cant cook for $h1t, this is one tough piece of meat". Then he said "Pinche medio de gallo".

[SCW]

Give the kid a baseball bat and both he and the bird will learn a lot from the experience. He can learn to defend himself, swing a bat and the euphoria or bloody revenge, the bird can learn to sit quietly next to the mashed potatoes. :D

[12 Volt Man]

wow, that is quite the battle scar. The chicken looked worse right???
I'll come take care of it for ya if it is still roaming the yard.

[jeepinandy]

Now is a good time to see if a chicken really does run with its head cut off!



Yes they can.

Fire up the grill..

Give TJ a stick and a hockey mask (to protect the eyes) and let him have at it.

hope it doesn't get infected.. tetnis(sp) shot?
I'm sure I don't have to remind you what chickens walk in all day long.

[cherokee89]

I had that same thing happen when I was about 3 or 4. I squatted down and tried to pet the rooster, but it ran up my face and over my back. I still have a small scar from it.

I actually blame it on my dad and grandfather for not keeping me away from that fawker. My grandpa used to scoop his foot up under the bird and kick it way up in the air. I laughed my ass off every time I saw that.

Having said all of that, kill it quick, if you do kill it.

[Lincoln]

Rough way to learn the roosters are mean, but it happens. Get another rooster and chances are it will act the same way. Until he's big enought to give them the boot they will continue.

Beej is right though, geese are much more ill tempered. There is a bunch of them around work in the winter. I was out having a smoke and some guy was letting his little kid chase the geese around, I told him I would call the kid off and he looked at me and said "Why?". About that time one of the geese decided it was enough and flew up about head height to the kid and just knocked him on the ground. I'm not sure if it was a warning or me running over to give him the boot, but the goose went easy on him. That guy didn't like my smirk and "That's why" comment. :D

[JohnX]

Mail it to me. If its still alive I'll nurse it back to health and mail it back to you. repeat as necessary.

[IXNAYXJ]

Mail it to me. If its still alive I'll nurse it back to health and mail it back to you. repeat as necessary.That's actually pretty good....

I like the M-80 idea: Endorsed by Law Enforcement.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exploding_chicken

-----Matt-----

[stewie]

id like to see its reaction to "noise makers" (illegal here in ut) attatched to its legs as it runs about.

[IntrepidXJ]

you could always choke it, ryan ;)

[Jeepsloth]

FIRE, KILL IT WITH FIRE

[Gerr]

FIRE, KILL IT WITH FIRE
fire is to quick and eventually painless the boiling still leaves nerves in tact and the freezing of boield flesh is extreamly painfull and its very easy to rip the now frozen rendered flesh from the bone and not harm surrounding tissues thus leaving more fun for you and more pain for it.

[DrMoab]

Well...Its done.

Pics below (WARNING!!! DEAD CHICKEN PICS!!!)










































Trying to catch the little bastard.
http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g265/DrMoab/Funnies/IMGP3752.jpg

Funny that my oldest son could pick him up and he would act ok.
http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g265/DrMoab/Funnies/IMGP3753.jpg

One Second from Execution. :D
http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g265/DrMoab/Funnies/IMGP3755.jpg

Sweet Revenge.
http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g265/DrMoab/Funnies/IMGP3756.jpg

[Geepfreak]

Well...Its done.

Pics below (WARNING!!! DEAD CHICKEN PICS!!!)

http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g265/DrMoab/Funnies/IMGP3756.jpg


So, you killed the KAWK? :D

[DrMoab]

So, you killed the KAWK? :D
Notice the smile on my sons face? I wanted him to hold it up be he was still a little scared.

He sure wasn't upset to see it die though.

[Gil BullyKatz]

only way to kill poultry is with your bare hands...

twist and pull.

'nuff said

[Ramsey]

that picture is priceless

[Lawn Cher']

http://www.animationartgallery.com/images/WBL/WBLWB1147.jpg

Hmmm, I say I say, that gives me an idea.

Your hens need a new rooster, do they not?

I know just the Rhode Island Red for the job.

[TRNDRVR]

Now is a good time to see if a chicken really does run with its head cut off!Actually! (http://www.miketheheadlesschicken.org/)

[Captain Ron]

only way to kill poultry is with your bare hands...

twist and pull.

'nuff said

No chit. If revenge is in order, skip this step and go directly to boil. :D

--ron

[Blaine B.]

Although I do feel sorry for animals......

[Gil BullyKatz]

Dude, f--k that Rooster. Poor lil guy!

Dude chill with the F bomb.

If you really enjoy using it...

pony up the membership and go post in the den.

Try creative ways to convey the same idea.

[Blaine B.]

Sorry I was feeling for the kid.

[johnlv6]

:( I hope your son is ok. Honestly...i'd just put a bullit in it.

[Gil BullyKatz]

:( I hope your son is ok. Honestly...i'd just put a bullit in it.

You would honestly waste a bullet to kill a 5-10lb domestic bird?

A bird that would let you pick it up?

What a waste...

You guys would probably rather shoot a cow where it stands than slit it's throat too....

:sigh:

No one likes to get dirty anymore?

[johnlv6]

You would honestly waste a bullet to kill a 5-10lb domestic bird?

A bird that would let you pick it up?

What a waste...

You guys would probably rather shoot a cow where it stands than slit it's throat too....

:sigh:

No one likes to get dirty anymore?

I don't have kids. If i did, i might have some creative ideas. I suggest a bullit because it's quick with minimal effort (.22LR would be VERY easy).

[Lawn Cher']

Sorry I was feeling for the kid.

Hey, aren't you the Big Bugaski?

[Wayne Sihler]

Shotgun and a hole.Don,t waste time trying to cook and eat ,Too Tough.
Ask me how I know--
My wife catches hawks with her bare hands-
Wayne

[Blaine B.]

Hey, aren't you the Big Bugaski?

I'm confused to what you mean?

[Lawn Cher']

I'm confused to what you mean?

Don't worry Dude, others will get it.;)

[Blaine B.]

I'm 215 6 foot if that's what your reffering too....although I'm still quite confused.

[DrMoab]

You would honestly waste a bullet to kill a 5-10lb domestic bird?

A bird that would let you pick it up?

What a waste...

You guys would probably rather shoot a cow where it stands than slit it's throat too....

:sigh:

No one likes to get dirty anymore?
I dunno if a .177 pellet would really be considered wasting a bullet.

BTW the ONLY person that could pick that bird up was my older son. If anyone else got near that bird he would go completely nuts.



I am not afraid of too many things but I was of that rooster. He had a serious screw loose.

[Lincoln]

I dunno if a .177 pellet would really be considered wasting a bullet.

BTW the ONLY person that could pick that bird up was my older son. If anyone else got near that bird he would go completely nuts.



I am not afraid of too many things but I was of that rooster. He had a serious screw loose.

I hope you let him pull the trigger. I think it would have been more fun to give the boy a hatchet and chop it's head off. That would have given him some satisfaction.

Either way he needed to go. As dumb as chickens are they figure out who they can bluff real quick. Your son wouldn't have been able to get anywhere near that rooster until he felt comfortable enough to give him the boot.

[RTicUL8]

If you haven't already done this:

Put vitamin E oil on that scratch to mimimize/prevent scaring on your son's face. Most drug stores carry it. :thumbup:

[DrMoab]

If you haven't already done this:

Put vitamin E oil on that scratch to mimimize/prevent scaring on your son's face. Most drug stores carry it. :thumbup:
The pictures of the scratch look much worse then it actually is. It's more like brusing under the skin. It didn't really break real deep.

In fact today it looks really really good.

[Lawn Cher']

although I'm still quite confused.

http://www.jurassicdvd.com/catalog/images/BigLebowski.jpg

Where's the money, Bugaski?!

[Geepfreak]

Where's the money, Bugaski?!


I'll just take the rug thanks...:D
Oh, and a White Russian to go..

[RedHeep]

Go easy on Stewie. He is military and that is the way they are trained.


We're not like that because the military trained us, we're in the military because we were like that before we joined. :)