OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH SNAP!

[toyotawrench]

this is the offical joke thread :D, jokes one liners punch lines ect.

I will start.

YO momma is so poor, she can't afford to pay attion

OH SNAP!


next?

that joke is much funnyier when its not in txt form :( fail..

[crazyjim]

this is the offical joke thread :D, jokes one liners punch lines ect.

I will start.

YO momma is so poor, she can't afford to pay attion

OH SNAP!


next?

that joke is much funnyier when its not in txt form :( fail..
TED is so stupid, he can't even spell attention... or funnier... OHHHHH SNAP!!


:D ;)

[toyotawrench]

... you missed the point, not to make fun of people to post jokes..:twak: and your right i can't spell for beans.

[crazyjim]

You just made fun of my momma... wtf.

[djblade311]

to make this SoCal Specific:

You know you live in Orange County, when you classify new people you meet by their Area Code.

[toyotawrench]

You just made fun of my momma... wtf.

negative, I posted a "yo momma" joke, and was directed at no one, simply to share jokes.

[GrimmJeeper]

negative, I posted a "yo momma" joke, and was directed at no one, simply to share jokes.

oh lighten up. it was a joke.... lol


yo momma is so fat we're in her right now.

[bhicks]

You might be a redneck if you have 20 cars that aren't mobil and a house that is.

That is straight out of the Hicks family motto. Gotta luv the Hic traditions.

[GrimmJeeper]

your momma is so ugly they press her face in the dough to make monster cookies

[djblade311]

Yo mamma so fat that when she wears BVD underwear, it spells Boulevard

[jeeperjohn]

Yo mamma house stink so bad the flys pitched in to get her a screen door!

[boostamante]

yo momma got a wooden leg with a kick stand.

[Loose_Nuts_Enterprises]

A Priest, and alcoholic, and a pedophile walk into a bar.....



And that was just the first guy...

[GrimmJeeper]

You mommas house is so small the front and back doors are on the same hinge

[tcm glx]

Girls with big boobs work at hooters right.....
So where does a girl with one leg work..........





IHOP

[boostamante]

Girls with big boobs work at hooters right.....
So where does a girl with one leg work..........





IHOP


ahaha!

[GrimmJeeper]

guy walks out of a bar completely wasted at 11am and sees a preist and a nun sitting at a bus stop. he stumbles over to them, looks the nun in the eyes, and knocks her out. when the preist starts yelling for help the drunk says "no no its ok batman, i got the penguin for ya."

[Jays siik xj]

What do Vanilla Ice, Milli Vanilli and Barack Obama have in common? They all made careers out of pretending to be something that they're not

[Laurent Wagoneer]

yo mama so old, she farts dust!

yo mama so old, when you tap her in the back her boobs fall off!

yo mama is so old...... so old.... she owes God money!

:anon:

[GrimmJeeper]

your momma is so old she made dinner for the last supper.

[Laurent Wagoneer]

hahaha.......

Youre so ugly, you walk into a haunted house and come out with a contract! :spin1:

[GrimmJeeper]

your momma is so nasty they fired her from the phone sex line for giving people ear infections.

[Laurent Wagoneer]

youre so ssstututupid........ that you bought a doughnut once and complained about the hole in the middle. :eyes:

[rocknxj]

I'm so glad I live in NorCal.

[Jays siik xj]

I'm so glad I live in NorCal.

We are too.
:party:

[ocean_jet]

How many Nor Cal people does it take to screw in a light bulb?


Hella.

[Carol.92124]

A dyslexic man walks into a bra...

[JeepCherokeeGuy99]

yo mommas like a bubble gum machine...10 cents a blow

yo mommas like a hardware store...5 cents a screw

yo mommas like a door knob...everyones had a turn

yo mommas like a vacuum..she sucks, she blows, and she gets laid in the closet.

[GrimmJeeper]

how many SoCalers does it take to lift an XJ?

10.

1 to help you, 4 to eat your food, 4 to drink your beer and talk about other jeeps they worked on, and 1 to wait till you're completely finished before telling you that you did something wrong and have to start over.

[jeeperjohn]

How many men does it take to open a beer?



None, she should have it open when she brings it to you!

[5-90]

Have you ever heard of the Dyslexic Agnostics' Association? They meet monthly to debate the existence of Dog.

[scottmcneal]

you may be a redneck if you mowed your yard and found a truck..

[squirrel80]

Girls with big boobs work at hooters right.....
So where does a girl with one leg work..........





IHOP

What would her name be?

EILEEN

What if she is Asian?

IRENE

[ocskipper]

How many Nor Cal people does it take to screw in a light bulb?


Hella.

hahahahahahaha

[cashless]

two Irish guys walk out of a bar.......

[squirrel80]

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?






A different bar.

[Leep]

What is the difference between a blonde and a 747...


















Not everyone has been in a 747.

[Darky]

yo momma got a wooden leg with a kick stand.
There's a bear and a rabbit taking a dump in the woods. Bear looks at the rabbit and says, "Do you have trouble with poo sticking to your fur?" Rabbit says no, so the bear wipes his butt with the rabbit.

You may be a redneck if you ever stared at a can of orange juice for 3 hrs because it said concentrate on the label.

[GSequoia]

How many Nor Cal people does it take to screw in a light bulb?


Hella.

Classic!

[nicksjeep]

What does a gynocologist and a pizza boy have in common?
They can smell it but can't eat it.

Why don't blind men skydive?
Because it scares the sh!t out of the dog.

What do you call a gay dinosoar?
mega-saur-ass.:moon:

[Mutant_Xj]

My wife likes talking to me during sex. Last week she even called me from the hotel.

[GrimmJeeper]

guy walks into a bar, and hears this beautiful piano music. he looks around and sees no piano player, not even any speakers in the bar. confused, he walks up to the bartender and says "hey buddy, whats with the music? where is it coming from?" the bartender looks around, and says "well, there is this guy at the end of the bar. He says he is a Genie, has all kinds of powers and shit, but i gotta warn ya, he is REALLY drunk. he'll grant you a wish if you buy him a drink, but be careful, he's hammered."

so the guy walks up to the Genie at the end of the bar, and says "hey gimme a round of whatever this guy is drinking". he does the shot, and says to the Genie "hey man, i would love a million bucks". so the Genie laughs and says "your wish is my command hahahah" and suddenly a million male deer pile up inside the bar. the guy walks back up to the bartender and says "man you weren't kidding, that Genie is really drunk".

the bartender looks at him, and pulls a small box out from under the bar. he opens the lid and inside is a tiny man playing a tiny piano. the bartender says "do you really think i wished for a 12 inch pianist?"


:D

[5-90]

"My doctor gave me the thumbs-up. It was extremely painful!"

"My wife likes to wear sexy underwear. Or so I hear..."

"My secretary has a crush on me. His name is Steve!"

"My son has his own place... he's in prison!"

"Talked to a sexy girl to-day... for four ninety-five per minute!"

These two college kids walk into a rooftop bar, and see a guy sitting there at the bar. He's morose and very obviously drunk. And getting drunker.

After a few minutes, the guy stands up. Announcing loudly that, "I can't take it anymore!" he runs to edge of the roof and throws himself off. The two kids look over the edge as the guy plummets to the ground - just as he's about to splash; he stops, rights himself, and lands - light as a feather.

He comes back up and continues drinking, as the two kids watch in amazement.

After about forty-five minutes, the crowd has pretty well changed - and the man at the bar repeats his performance! The kids are getting puzzled, and the guy comes back up and starts drinking again. This time, they noticed a grate in the sidewalk right where he landed...

Give it another hour or so, and the crowd has changed again. The guy repeats the performance - again. He heads back into the building while the two kids are just staring at each other.

When the guy comes back up, the kids go over to buy him a drink and ask him how he does it.

"You saw where I landed, right? That grate? It's a ventilation grate. There's a powerful updraft there, and if you catch it right, you can stop before you hit the ground, right yourself and float to your feet."

Well, the kids have done bungee-jumping, cliffdiving, skydiving - they're into adrenaline sports. You don't have to tell them twice - they both run to the edge of the building and hurl themselves off.

Pretty much the whole bar is watching as they plummet to the ground, panic just before they hit, and hit the grate near terminal velocity with the appropriate "cheese-grater" effect (yech.)

Shaking his head, the bartender grabs the kids' glasses, dumps them, and puts them in the sink. As he's wiping up the drink rings on the bar, he look as the guy and sez, "You can be a real ***hole when you're drunk, you know that, Superman?"

[toyotawrench]

What does a gynocologist and a pizza boy have in common?
They can smell it but can't eat it.

Why don't blind men skydive?
Because it scares the sh!t out of the dog.

What do you call a gay dinosoar?
mega-saur-ass.:moon:

I think the best so far... They can't eat it thats epic...

[5150xj]

What do you call a gay dinosoar?
mega-saur-ass.:moon:

Dont forget this one.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?



lapalotofpuss

[5-90]

How do you spot a blind man at a nudist colony?

It's not hard.

[boostamante]

There's a bear and a rabbit taking a dump in the woods. Bear looks at the rabbit and says, "Do you have trouble with poo sticking to your fur?" Rabbit says no, so the bear wipes his butt with the rabbit.



Ha! That's the clean eddie murphy joke his stand up in the 80's. He use to be funny.

[Leep]

Ha! That's the clean eddie murphy joke his stand up in the 80's. He use to be funny.

I got some icecream, you aint got no icecream.....

[silverslk]

I got some icecream, you aint got no icecream.....


I'll take some jujubes and the.........

[Wildman89]

Girls night out...
two girls decide that they are going to the bar down the street for a girls night out, but decide that they are going to walk instead of drive for obvious reasons.

after a night of drinkin' they decide that they are going to walk home

on there journey home they walk past a grave yard and one of the girls decides she has to piss so she goes up behind one of the head stones and handles her bizz, finds some roses peddles to clean her self with and and throws them away, the other lady decides that,that is not a bad idea so she does the same and removes her panties, cleans her self with them and throws them away.

the next day one husband calls the other husband and says "hey man this s**t has to come to an end, my wife came home last night with no panties. The other husband replies that aint s**t man MY wife came home with a card stuck to her ass that said "From all of us down at the fire station you will never be forgotten"

[mikeam7750]

how many SoCalers does it take to lift an XJ?

10.

1 to help you, 4 to eat your food, 4 to drink your beer and talk about other jeeps they worked on, and 1 to wait till you're completely finished before telling you that you did something wrong and have to start over.

1+you+4+4+1=:doh:

[GrimmJeeper]

haha i never said i was good at math :D

[mikeam7750]

What does a gynocologist and a pizza boy have in common?
They can smell it but can't eat it.

:puke: women don't go to the gynocologist because they are HOT-N-READY

[RobertF]

Blonde calls her boyfriend up to come help her assemble a puzzle.
He arrives, and she tells him it's really challenging, supposed to be a rooster.
He looks at the box and pieces spread out on the table and says
"Ok, put the flakes back in the box"